


Collection MK

by Stingray



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Whump, fluffle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2018-11-17 09:52:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 26,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11273067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stingray/pseuds/Stingray
Summary: A variety of desultory, spine-tingling, and often adorable Sevasey-related mini stories.





	1. Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> FIveStarFrankieFandom made me do it. x

Kelly woke up from his happy slumber for no apparent reason. It wasn't that he was too cold, and he surely wasn't too warm. There were no loud sounds or bright lights that would have woken him up, only the bliss of pure silence. With a grunt of frustration (he didn't appreciate his sleep interrupted for nothing) the dark-haired lieutenant pinned his wake-up on having no reason, and he rolled over in an attempt to go back to that sweet temporary unconsciousness - also known as, glorious sleep. He reached out an arm to wrap around the blonde, but the bed beside him was empty. Kelly's eyes fluttered open and he sat up in bed as he looked around, trying to locate Matt.

He wasn't in the bedroom at all. This prompted Kelly to get out of bed, clad in only his boxers, and step out of their room. He peeked in the spare bedroom, bathroom, and living room but there was no sign of him. At last, Kelly found him in the kitchen, sitting on the floor in front of the open refrigerator.

Kelly's voice was soft and gently as he spoke, "Hey."

"Hey." Matt looked surprised to see the other man out of bed.

"You okay?" Kelly murmured, tilting his head to one side as he stared at the blonde.

"Huh?" Matt glanced to Kelly for a moment before seeing the worry on his face, "Yeah, I'm alright."

Kelly switched his gaze to the fridge, the door all the way open. "You hungry?"

The blonde shook his head.. A minute later shrugging his shoulders, in a sense, unsure. 

"You should come to bed." The dark-haired lieutenant suggested, offering a hand to Matt in case he needed assistance getting up.

"Why?" Matt countered in a dry voice, his eyes finally peering up to Kelly's, searching them.

"You need to sleep, baby." Kelly was kneeling down and sitting beside Matt now, somehow getting the sense that he wouldn't be moving too far quite yet.

Matt snorted, leaning his head back a little, " _Pfffft_.. I can sleep when I'm dead."

Kelly paused for a few short moments as he realized what this all was, what Matt _really_ meant. "Nightmares again?"

The blonde nodded, his stress and anxiety evident in the way his eyes stared blankly ahead, like he was trying to hide everything from the world. He couldn't hide it from Kelly though, Kelly had known Matt long enough to realize when he wasn't okay.

"How bad?" Kelly was in protective mode now. These nightmares had been plaguing his lover for too long now. Kelly wrapped an arm around Matt's bare back, he was wearing nothing but a pair of boxers same as Kelly. Difference was, he was freezing cold and Kelly was a radiating furnace.

"Bad." Matt murmured, leaning into the touch.

Kelly scooped Matt up. He was too light these days. "You're coming back to bed with me."

Matt nodded against Kelly's shoulder as he was lifted and brought into the soft comfort of their queen sized bed. Kelly followed in right after, pulling Matt to him so close, that there was no room to be pressed together any tighter. Kelly's strong calloused hand pushed through Matt's thick blonde hair, trying to soothe him to sleep. "It's okay to sleep, I'll be right here..." He whispered into Matt's ear softly, "I'll protect you."


	2. Paradox

Kelly looked on helplessly. Matt had been hitting the physiotherapy hard, he was determined to get back to work. He had been dedicatedly pushing himself to the extreme, and he wasn't relenting. Kelly admired it, of course he did. But in his opinion, Matt was completely overdoing it and this made the dark-haired lieutenant worry that Matt might accidentally set himself back. 

It was only three weeks after the accident. One morning, Severide returned home after a long, quiet shift, simply to find Matt doing extra physio on top of his regime.

"Hey, baby." Matt greeted cheerfully, "Guess what! I took four steps today!"

Kelly hated to ruin his good attitude and happy demeanour, but upon noticing his black eye, Kelly couldn't help but say something. "Hey.. Uh.. What happened to your eye?"

"Nothing..." Matt's smile faded, "I thought you'd be excited for me."

"I.. Matty, I am happy for you." Kelly stepped closer Matt's wheelchair, kneeling in front of him.. "I just.. really, what did happen to your eye, Matt?"

Matt sighed in defeat, "I fell trying to walk." 

"Matthew.." Kelly looked concerned, now that he was closer he could see the sheen of sweat covering Matt's face. How pale he was, the bags under his eyes, his sweat soaked shirt. "You're over doing it." 

"Nah.." Matt looked down, "I'm working hard  yeah, but not hard enough... I still can't walk."

"C'mon," Kelly said with a sympathetic smile, standing up and wheeling Matt to the bathroom. "It's bath time, then we're taking a long nap. Okay?"

"Kelly... I-.." Matt hesitated, not sure what to do. It's not like he was man enough to stop him from bathing him, it's not like he could fend for himself. Matt shrunk into his chair, a slightly apathetic frown on his face.

"Don't want a bath?" Kelly asked softly, sitting on the edge of the tub, facing Matt.

Matt looked away, "It's not that." He mumbled sadly.

"What is it then?" Kelly asked innocently, really unsure of what was going on.

Casey felt his frustration bubbling to the surface. "I'm fuckiNG PARALYZED FROM THE WAIST DOWN. THAT'S WHAT." The blonde yelled, more in frustration than anger, but it ripped Kelly's heart up to hear it anyway. 

Kelly put his head in his hands. "I know, babe-"

"NO!" Matt uttered in disbelief, "YOU DON'T KNOW!"

"Then help me understand!" Kelly cried out in exasperation as he peered into Matt's blue orbs. He was at wits end. "I'm trying my best to get it okay? I'm  _trying_."

Matt rubbed his eyes as he took a deep breath, he sighed and looked up at Kelly. "Sorry." His voice cracked as he spoke, "I'm sorry, it's just... it's hard."

"It's fine." Kelly reached forward and grabbed onto Matt's hand, "I  _know_  it's hard. I see it  _every_  single day. I see how  _hard_  you fight." The dark-haired lieutenant reached up and pushed away a strand of blonde hair away from Matt's forehead. "You're my fighter, Matty. My brave trooper. And you're gonna get through this.  _We're_  going to get through this. But you  _need_  to take your time with this, with the physio, with everything. I'm worried about you."

The blonde nodded, "I know. It's just taking so  _long_."

Kelly chuckled softly, "Matt, it's only been three weeks."

Matt's frown faded slowly and he laughed a little too, wiping away a tear that had fallen away onto his cheek. "Hey!..That's a long time!" 

"Oh is it?" Kelly teased, ear to ear grin on his face. " _Well_ , Matty, have I got news for you. If you think  _that's_  a long time, just think, you're stuck with me for the rest of your life," He grinned, kissing Matt on the forehead. "You'll be absolutely sick of me."

"Ah, shut up, I could never get sick of you, you're too cute," Matt replied tiredly, a happy smile on his face nonetheless, "Now hurry up and give me a bath so we can have that nap."

Kelly beamed, "You got it, boss."


	3. Three Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For @chi_kinney!

It had been a hell of a call. In fact, it had been the kind of call that makes you really realize how much you're putting your life on the line. The kind that makes you think about how incredibly dangerous the profession you're dedicated to, is. Kelly had gotten the brunt end of everything, after all, he'd been the closest to the explosion.

The very same explosion that had sent him flying 20 feet backwards in the air, only to have his back crash with a thud into a literal brick wall. Casey had just barely managed to drag the man's body out of the building before the second explosion hit. At least he'd been able to duck down and cover Kelly's body with his own that time, protecting the unconscious man from the shrapnel that was flying through the smoke-filled air. 

The haze of the thick smoke made it hard to breath, but he needed to save him. So Casey trudged through the burn in his lungs, the sting in his eyes, and he pulled the love of his life to safety. And here they were now, Kelly still unconscious, laying completely limp on the hospital bed; Matt sitting in the hard plastic chair beside him, head in his hands, praying to hell and back that Kelly would wake the heck up.

Matt glanced up, looking at the burns and cuts that littered the dark-haired lieutenant's body. The blonde was kicking himself, wishing he could have protected him better, done _better_. Casey reached his hand out to grab Kelly's, relishing in the warmth and the feeling of life that pumped beneath the skin. 

It'd been three days since he seen those eyes, heard that voice. Hell, Casey would give anything for him to pull out of his unconsciousness. But the doctors weren't hopeful, they have him a thirty percent chance of waking up. Literally, Kelly had a 1/3 chance of surviving this... But Casey wouldn't give up on him.. The doctors told him to start thinking about the option of taking him off of life support, letting him go if things didn't improve, but Casey didn't let them, he didn't listen to them. _Kelly couldn't die._. Seriously, Matt was pretty sure that Kelly physically was unable to die, he'd seen the man go through some serious shit. 

Kelly had a fighting chance, it wasn't big, but it was a hell of a lot better than nothing and Matt knew. _He knew_ that the dark-haired lieutenant would make it out alive, that he'd come back to Matt.

**

It was just moments after visiting hours started, on a cold, wintery day, when Kelly _finally_  woke up. He came to and the first thing he heard was the sound of Casey softly humming to himself, Kelly nearly smiled when he recognized the tune. It was the song that was playing when they had kissed each other for the first time, he'd never forget it.

Kelly couldn't help but very vividly remembering the feel of Casey's lips on his. He couldn't help but grinning happily at the sheer thought.

"Kelly?" Casey croaked out, waiting and watching as the darker-haired man's smile grew even bigger.

One of Kelly's eyes fluttered open, the other still swollen enough that it was shut, but it was already looking much better than it had. "Matt."

Matt squeezed his hand, "Hey, you. Glad you finally decided to bless the world with your presence."

"How long was I out?" Kelly was confused and his head was pounding.

"Three days.." Matt sighed, in relief for the most part. He'd been worried sick, had all these bad images in his mind of Kelly never waking up.

Kelly looked surprised, "Three?"

"Yeah," Matt shrugged his shoulders. "...I don't get it."

"Don't get what?" Kelly disoriented and nothing was making sense, but there was a cute boy in front of him so he couldn't complain.

"You get," Matt looked up, slight smirk on his face, "Three days of beauty sleep, and yet you still look like.. _this_."

 _"Excuse me?"_ Kelly was chuckling now, "Are you saying I'm not beautiful?"

Matt's eyes danced with amusement, "I'm just saying that your time could have been better spent," 

" _Oh?_ Doing what?" Kelly grinned, he was happy.

The blonde laughed softly, _"Me."_ He pointed to himself, throwing a wink Kelly's way.

"I'll take you up on that," Kelly smiled suggestively, raising a brow, "Well... Once I get outta here, anyways."


	4. Surviving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For sweet angel FiveStarFrankieFandom!

She was relentless. Had been since the day Matt had started dating her. Then the next thing he new, they were engaged and Matt was stuck. Stuck like a rodent in a hamster wheel, victim to her loud, angry outbursts. She generally crossed a lot of lines, the way she treated Matt, the way she acted towards him.. But what had happened today, well.. this was a new low.

Why was it a new low? Because Matt was currently sitting laying in a bed in the middle of the emergency department of Med. There was a c-collar around his neck and tubes going into his body through intravenous lines, replenishing his dehydrated system. She generally wouldn't let him drink anything if he was thirsty, she was always telling him he was a waste of water. Maybe it was true. Matt's right arm was in a cast, the left side of his face was bruised heavily, his lip busted.

She took full advantage of the fact that she knew Matt would never hit back, that he'd never report her or leave her. She beat him with her dark, rage-filled eyes on a daily basis, but often it didn't last too long. And when she wasn't on a vengeance, she was okay to be around, she told Matt she loved him. Matt just assumed this is what it meant to be in a relationship. 

But today was it. Today he'd told her the engagement was off, that he was leaving her. Of course, it hadn't gone over well. She had yelled, screamed, hit, punched, kicked, and went as far as beating him with whatever objects she could get her hands on. Why had he left her? Well, that was because he'd finally learned what a good relationship meant, what it was like. He hadn't known it until recently, but in a good relationship people don't hit, or yell, or fight all the time. They love, they have soft-spoken conversations, and they don't hurt each other.

Matt wasn't a cheater. He'd never cheated on her physically and never would because he liked to think he was a stand up guy, that's why he was breaking up with her. Matt finally found someone who he discovered he had a connection with, it took him until this time into his life to find someone who'd treat him like a human being. He'd found someone who made him feel like he deserved to be on this planet.

Matt lay quietly in the bed, terrified that she would find him here in the hospital. It wasn't long before a nurse came in, leaning over his head, since Matt couldn't move his neck at the moment. "Matthew? There's someone here for you." She said kindly, her eyes sparkling. 

Matt was immediately going into a panic, knowing it must be _her_. No one else would expect him to be here and he was worried that she was going to go for round three of the day. His breathing rose, and the beeping on the heart monitor increased noticeably, sending off an alarm. Matt tried to get it under control, hide his emotions behind his guarded eyes. 

Kelly saw what was happening, saw the state of Matt, and turned to the nurse. "It's okay, I got this." He whispered to the nurse with a nod. She gave him a small smile, and nodded back as she manually turned the alarm off, "I'll be back to check on him again soon." 

Kelly walked to the bed swiftly, "Matty?" 

The blonde's respirations were still abnormal, too quick and shallow for Kelly's liking. "Hey, you're okay, it's just me." He leaned over Matt's face, his terrified eyes meeting Kelly's worried ones.

"It's alright." Kelly leaned down and planted his lips on Matt's forehead, "It's okay, boo." 

"It hurts." Matt's voice was small and shaky, his breathing still rapid and his mind running rampant. 

"I know it does. I know.." Kelly cupped the right side of Matt's face with his hand, "Hold my hand. Just breathe." He said softly, bringing his free hand to Matt's hands, which were anxiously clasped together on his chest. After the blonde calmed down a bit, Kelly continued speaking, "...You wanna tell me what happened?" 

"Sh-she didn't like-... Sh-she-e said I-I didn't de-deserve to l-live.... She h-hit me.." Matt stumbled over the majority words, the only thing calming him down was Kelly.

Kelly shook his head in dismay, when he got his hands on that woman... "Tell me you at least hit her back." 

"Y-you know I wou-wouldn't.." Matt murmured softly, looking up earnestly.

"Yeah.." Kelly sighed softly, inwardly annoyed at the situation, but he put a smile on his face for the other man. "I know........ The nurse said you can go home any time..."

"Mhmm.." Matt was finally beginning to relax.

Kelly helped Matt sit up, "So do you wanna go back _there_? Or do you want to come home with me?

"With you." Matt's voice was far from stable, but it was much better than it had been when Kelly had first gotten there. See looked into Kelly's eyes so innocently, so honestly. "Always you."


	5. Tonsillitis

Matt had just gotten his tonsils removed and was finally back to home sweet home. His throat hurt like a flaming bitch and he was still tired from the whole ordeal, but he was doing alright. He'd had Kelly drive him back to his apartment, but now he was alone and when did the room start spinning?

A sudden knock at the door, but like _hell_ Matt was moving his ass off of his perfectly comfortable spot on the couch to answer it. Luckily the door opened by itself, and though his eyes were closed, Matt knew it was Kelly. After all, he's the only one Matt had given a spare key to, in case of emergencies and such.

When Matt finally opened his eyes, about five seconds after the door clicked closed, he spared a glance in Kelly's direction.

"Bought you some ice cream," Kelly said sheepishly, "Wasn't sure what kind you were in the mood for so I bought twelve different flavours."

Matt smiled softly, his eyes now opened wider as he rested his gaze upon the bags in Kelly's hands.

"Which one do you want? Also you should know I've had a crush on you for the last five years," Kelly mumbled in a quick burst, his words melting together into one.

He watched Matt's face show shock at first, which melded into surprise. Kelly was expecting disgust or something along the lines to make an appearance but no such thing happened. In fact, quite the opposite.

"Get over here and kiss me, would ya?" Matt grinned sheepishly.

Kelly laughed softly, his ear-to-ear grin shining nearly as bright as his eyes. He dropped the ice cream where he stood and strode over to where Matt was, leaning down to kiss him softly and eagerly.


	6. Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lovely prompt from a lovely person!
> 
> "Take. It. Off." ~FiveStarFrankieFandom

"I said I'm not mad." Matt huffed in annoyance, obviously quite mad.

Kelly followed him through the front door of their apartment with a sigh, "Matthew.. C'mon, talk to me."

Matt groaned at the dark-haired lieutenant, "Talk about _what?_ We already talked about how pissed you were that I ran into that building even though it was already falling. I already know that you thought what I did was stupid."

"I didn't say it was stupid." Kelly ran a hand through his hair.

"Didn't you?" Matt exclaimed trying to control his emotions.

Kelly shrugged his shoulders, " I didn-"

"Just shut up." Matt grunted, grabbing Kelly by his jacket and pulling him into the bedroom.

The dark-haired lieutenant went along with it. Whenever Matt wanted to avoid talking, this is what he did. One of his coping mechanisms. Kelly let it happen, not only because he happened to be in love with the man, but also because he knew how much Matt needed it. Needed that closeness, that feel of skin on skin. Because he'd almost died today, and Casey's mind was spinning and Kelly knew this was the best way to help him. Let him have control of the situation, help him unwind, help his mind slow to a much more manageable pace.

Kelly was pushed down onto the bed gently by Casey's hands. Sitting on the edge of that bed and looking up at the other man, Kelly could see the war going on in his eyes. The way his blue orbs darted to Kelly and to the floor, up and down, trying to find himself on the inside.

"What do you need?" Kelly asked softly, his hands resting lightly on Matt's hips.

"I could have died." Matt began slowly and quietly. His lips were parted slightly after he spoke, he was having a million emotions run through him even as he stood still with nothing happening.

Severide's gaze faltered for a moment, "I know.." 

"Take off your shirt." Casey demanded, a soft tone to his voice nonetheless.

Kelly looked at him,  no - _through him._ He gazed inside his head and he seen the demons and he seen the pain and the fear. He knew he was hurting, and all he wanted to do was scoop this man up and hold him close. But Matt needed more, he needed to feel something other than the sting of near-death, of overthinking, of all that unknown.

"Take. It. Off." Casey repeated a little less gently, though there was still no venom to his words and his voice was calm.

Severide did as he was told. He pulled his shift off and threw it to the other side of the room. This was Casey's way of talking - this right here, what was happening now. Casey shoved Kelly flat against the mattress as he got to work on the man's belt, unbuckling it quickly. Fingers nimble, hands working fast. 

Kelly's jeans were the next thing across the room. A jingle as the buckle hit the wall, sinking into heap of that navy blue denim. Kelly let Casey have control, giving him the feeling of being able to manage the going ons. Because in that building - _oh, that fucking deathtrap.._ Casey had no control whatsoever, and he'd nearly died as a result.

So now, here was this opportunity. The one way Kelly knew that Casey would feel like he wasn't so small, that he wasn't so.. _weak?_   Maybe that wasn't the right word. Hell, maybe there were no words to describe it. But it was them, it was their routine, it worked. 

Casey straddled Kelly, his piercing blue eyes capturing the other man's gaze. Breathing was deep and hearts were beating fast and hard. Moments were passing and yet, time was frozen. Just him and Matt, a tango for two. A futile attempt at control perhaps, but an attempt nonetheless. 

When Matt leaned down and planted their lips together, there was no horrific call lingering in the back of his mind anymore. It was just them and their lingering movements, their little song of moans and heavy breaths. Then it was the sudden lack of clothes on both parts that sent Matt even further into the light. Away from the darkness, a race to lose the tail that shadows had sent after him. 

The moving of their bodies, together as one, together like like clouds and rain. All one part until they separate and fall, only to evaporate back into one another to form this bond. This beautiful thing that was Kelly and Matt, the personal version, the kind they kept behind closed doors. 

Heaving lungs and muscles were giving out as they collapsed on top of each other. Spent, like a poor man's coin. Trying to catch their breaths as they held onto each other tightly, neither wanting to let go for fear of losing the other to this mad world. 

"I could have died." It was the second time that day that those exact words had left Casey's mouth. His voice was smaller this time, as if it had really sunk in, as if he really realized that it could have been a possibility. He sighed deeply, sending a whirl of soft breath against Kelly's chest. 

Severide glanced down at the other man, running a hand through the thick, blonde mop. "But you didn't..." Kelly reminded him. His own voice wasn't as he expected, but that was probably due to the vast amount of conflicting feelings that were running through his mind as well. Those feelings he had, the ones pertaining to his worry, the way he cared about the other man. 

"Thank you." Matt said after several long minutes, his brain having worked out some of it's shit, leaving room for a happy moment. The 'thank you' was for a hell of a lot more than just a good time. It was for the whole mental aspect, they way Kelly had handled everything, the way he showed his love, the way he cared. It was things like that that made Casey wonder if he would have ever made it through life on his own. He wondered if he would have had to bottle up all these emotions, maybe try to hide them in an empty relationship.

"You would do the same," Kelly's voice was weary, but there was an amused tone to his voice nonetheless. "Come," He reached out, encompassing Matt's body with his arms, pulling the covers around them and their naked bodies, "Sleep."

Casey leaned up and kissed Kelly gently on the side of the neck, in a way that spoke softly to the dark-haired man - _I'm right here, I'm not leaving you._

Matt fell asleep like that. Tangled up with the other man, their limbs a messy forest of vines, his blonde hair slightly tickling Kelly's neck. Though, Kelly wouldn't say anything, because he just loved that Matt was happy, relaxing, and sleeping for what seemed to be like the first time in forever. 

Wasn't long before their lungs were rising and falling in time with each other, their hearts beating in sync just as beautifully. In his sleep, Matt wouldn't let go of Kelly, had to keep him close. His soft breaths tickled Kelly's upper chest just so slightly, but it was honestly a comfort to the dark-haired lieutenant.

His boy was alive, well, and breathing. And after a shift like they'd just had, there were no better words to hear.


	7. Pillows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blame FiveStarFrankieFandom! <3
> 
> "Pillows are over-rated."

"How'd we lose the pillows?" Kelly asked in confusion, scratching the back of his neck as he looked around the room. 

Casey just grunted as he collapsed into the half-made bed, pulling the sheets up around himself. "Get in bed with me, Sevy."

"But the pillo-"

"Screw the pillows. Pillows are over-rated. Sleep, however, is not. Get your ass in here."

The corners of Severide's lips curled up into a smile as he headed to Matt, grabbing the comforters off the floor on the way. Okay, maybe it had gotten a little rough, maybe the bed had ended up all over the room. But work was rough today and this was their way of dealing. Maybe it wasn't the way a shrink would tell them to deal with their emotions, but it worked for them and if it wasn't broke, why fix it?

Kelly spread the blanket on top of Matt before sneaking under the blankets himself. He found Matt in a hurry, and pulled him into his arms. "See this is why we didn't need the pillows," Matt whispered, a soft smile on his face as he settled his head on Kelly's chest, "You make the perfect pillow."

Kelly just smiled down fondly at the man as he watched him fall asleep to the rise and fall of his chest. Soft little breaths falling against his bare skin, a reminder that his boy was still with him.


	8. Wounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from the sundoggish FiveStarFrankieFandom ~ "Your wound reopened, didn't it?"

 

If you ever just have too much on your mind, going out for a long jog can help clear some of that muck outta your head. At least, that was Matt's theory, which today did not seem to be working. He'd been running for miles and miles, but he just couldn't shake the weight of the death count out of his mind. A lot of people had died at the last call, and Matt should have been able to have been able to help them. Save them.  
But the fire progressed too quickly and he couldn't do it, he couldn't save anyone. Even he had barely made it out alive, in fact, he wouldn't have if Kelly hadn't dragged his ass outta there.

Matt rounded the corner, his shirt sticking to his body as he opened the front door of the apartment he and Kelly shared.

"Hey, you." Kelly greeted from within the cupboard under the sink. He was trying to fix the leaky pipe that'd been making an annoying puddle on the floor of their kitchen.

"I'm gonna shower," Matt mumbled, walking straight to the bathroom.

Kelly knew that tone. Something was wrong, something was on the other man's mind. He quickly put the tools away that he'd been using, he was done anyways. Then he quickly scurried off to the bathroom after Matt.

He found the man looking at himself in the mirror, hands braced against the sink. He seemed to be deep in thought and it didn't take an idiot to guess why.  
What concerned Kelly though, was the bloodstain on the front of the blonde's shirt, which was sticking to his skin from the sweat.

"You tore open your stitches, didn't you?" Kelly asked softly, spinning Matt around.

Matt looked down, almost surprised to see the patch of blood on his shirt. _"Oh."_

"It's okay." Kelly whispered, reaching down to the hem of Matt's shirt and pulling it up and over the other man's head. Matt watched as Kelly carefully peeled back the blood soaked gauze and tape, revealing the throbbing red wound. "Yeah, its reopened," Kelly sighed, "We should go to the hospital."

"No!" Matt ordered in a tone a little rougher than he'd intended. "Sorry, I just... Can we not go?"

Kelly looked sympathetic as he set his hands on the blonde's hips, "Matt you need to get this fixed up again."

"...We must have a needle or two around here.." Matt said with a long exhale.

Kelly nearly laughed, "You can't be serious."

 

'''

 

Matt lay motionless on the bathroom floor, clutching a bottle of whiskey in one hand, waiting as Kelly tied the last stitch. He'd had to replace seven of the fifteen that the doctors had given him. He was no doctor, but he had a steady hand and he was a quick learner. Back in the day, there was one afternoon that Shay and him, out of sheer boredom, learned how to do it for fun. 

"My work here is done," Kelly said with a grin, applying some antibiotic ointment before a waterproof gauze bandage.

Matt groaned as he tried to sit up.

"Hey, no. Take it easy." Kelly murmured softly, putting the first aid box to the side and holding Matt down firmly with two hands on his chest, "Relax for a minute, okay? I'll get the shower going."

"Wait," Matt reached out his hand to Kelly.

Kelly paused and turned back around to face the blonde, kneeling down beside his head. He took the cold hand in his own, and with his other, began to push back the sweaty mess of hair on Matt's head. "Yeah?"

"Thanks." Matt's lips sloppily quirked upward. 

Kelly leant down to kiss the man's forehead. "Always,"


	9. Shreds

"You alright?" Kelly's voice was comforting to Matt, it was like an anchor that held down whatever sanity he had left. A smooth, rolling wave that moved Matt from the inside out, beckoning him closer in a warm pull.

Matt shrugged, his lips a thin line, his typically sparkling eyes shone dull. "Fine."

"You're not fine." Kelly was pushing it, he knew that already. He was completely sure that coming here to Matt's apartment, unannounced, wasn't going to turn out well. How could it? Not when him and Matt had been unleashing hell at each other, fighting in a way that they hadn't resorted to since Andy died.   
But Kelly hadn't come here with balled up fists or a pretentious speech, he'd simply followed his gut without thinking too much about it (not for the first time in his life,) and it had led him here, to Matt Casey, his worst enemy and his best friend.

Now that he was here though, Kelly was at a loss for words. His subconscious told him to make some stupid remark about the tears building in Matt's eyes, but his heart told him just to close the distance between themselves and wrap his arms around the blonde. Because after looking at the other man, after seeing the pain behind his eyes, he knew he couldn't hurt him more.

So it was, "You alright?"  
Of course Kelly should have known he'd not say a word about it, not with the way things were between them lately. That animosity that simply crept under each others skin and stayed there, not moving, not making things easier.

Matt shifted on his feet, nervously glancing up at the Kelly, then down to the floor. Matt sure as hell wasn't okay, not at all, not in the slightest. But he wasn't about to say that out loud, he didn't like to share his feelings, or maybe it was just that he wasn't used to sharing them. Whatever the reason, Matt did his best to hold that guard up, shield himself from anything bad, because the last person he'd trusted had took his vulnerability to their advantage. He'd never ever let that happen again, not if it was the last thing he'd do. Nonetheless, despite all his reservations and all the walls he'd worked so hard to put up, Matt found himself opening the door a little wider and stepping aside to let Kelly in.

There was something on Kelly's face, a look; maybe it was surprise, maybe relief.

"Beer?" Matt's voice was rough as he asked the question. His voice was hoarse from all the yelling he'd had to do during shift. Being stuck in a burning room down in the basement, radio lost, his only chance to reach out being his lungs. So you better damn believe that's what Matt used, his lungs, his voice, to scream for help, hoping and wishing someone would find him in time.

He would've tried to get out on his own, but he'd broken one of his wrists and sprained the other during the fall. He hadn't known the specifics at the time, but he damn sure knew they wouldn't be of any use to him as he tried to push past the barrier of beams and drywall.

"Sure," Kelly stepped in Matt's humble apartment, barely enough room for him to live, but enough to get by. He watched Matt walk the short distance to the fridge, his gaze settling on his bare back watching the way his muscles fluidly danced beneath his skin.   
Matt tried to clasp the neck of a beer between his two slinged-up arms, grunting in frustration when it clanked to the ground, the bottle smashed against the hard tile floor and Matt stares in dismay at the mess of beer and glass on the floor.  
Kelly immediately strode forward, gently spinning Matt around and carefully leading him away and in the opposite direction of the sharp shards.  
"Careful, Matt." Kelly warned, his hand slowly coming up to the man's cheek. Matt was looking at his feet, but his eyes jolted back up as Kelly touched him so delicately. Something kinda broke in Matt just then, maybe it was the feeling of one of those walls collapsing, maybe it was his heart trying to hold itself that get her but failing so abruptly.

"You're not alright," Kelly murmured quietly, his voice was a vessel for his feelings. A statement, more than a question.

"Not really." Matt didn't bother denying it, they'd both seen how close Matt had been to meeting the inside of those fiery red flames. "I guess I like to pretend I don't give a fuck but honestly I don't think I've ever not given a fuck in my whole life.."

"That's okay," Kelly spoke softly, tenderly almost, leaning into Matt's body and embracing him tightly. Matt wasn't used to this kind of care, this feeling of warmth in the pit of his stomach because of someone comforting him. It tore Matt up inside, the feeling of it all, the good, the bad, that difficult swing of adjustment. Those tears that Matt was trying to pull back into his tear ducts were rolling down his cheeks and falling to the floor.

"Shh... It's all going to be okay now." The dark-haired lieutenant mumbled into the blonde's hair, softly kissing his temple.

 


	10. Drowning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FiveStarFrankieFandom told me to drown Matty boy. Oops!

Of course Gabby had to have an over the top pool party for her birthday, the high maintenance scab had finally found her true soulmate. He was about twice her age, with milky white hair and a fluorescent pink speedo. It was a sight that was nearly torturous to look at, the way that curly white chest hair contrasted against his tanned, wrinkly skin that was hanging out for everyone to see.

Of course Matt and Kelly attended, but not because they liked the ghastly woman. It was free food and free alcohol that drew them to the party. Plus they had appearances to keep up, they didn't need people knowing how much they disliked her.

There was loud music and half naked women dancing everywhere. The huge sound system in the corner of the humongous backyard sent it's vibrations into the ground as it played the latest hit at max volume. Colourful strobe lights were the only thing lighting up the area, the world becoming a slideshow. A collage of frozen dancing and people's faces covered in grins and looks of drunk amusement. There were ice sculptures everywhere, most of them carved to look like Gabriela herself, painting her to be some kind of freaking deity, even though she was anything but. Truth be told, the sculptures looked more like depictions of the devil, though many could construe them to be one and the same.

Matt and Kelly were sitting by the edge of the pool, their legs dangling in the perfectly clear water. The light from the bright underwater pool lights reflected up at the two of them, their faces retaining a slightly blueish-white glow. They were in close proximity, the only thing between them was the couple of beer bottles they had long since emptied. The two of them weren't even sure why they'd come here or why they were still even there. The place was packed and no one had noticed them except for the half a dozen women who approached them, hoping for a good lay.

"We should go, I'm over this." Matt nearly had to yell, the music was taking over the airspace. The booming bass of the sub woofers left Matt with barely any room for his sound waves to bounce across the short space to Kelly's ear drums.

Kelly nodded in agreement, "Me too. I'm getting too old for this kind of shit." He laughed, cringing as some bouncy pop song began tearing his ear drums to shreds. "Lemme just get rid of these and we'll get home." Kelly smiled to Matt as he piled up the empty bottles between them.

Matt's lips let loose his cheeky grin at Kelly, watching as he stood and walked into the impending crowd, disappearing from sight. Just as Matt's eyes left the spot where he'd last seen Kelly and glanced back towards the crystal clear water, a group of beyond drunk ladies ran past Matt, one of them letting out a laugh as she knocked him into the water. Nobody stopped, nobody knew Matt couldn't swim.

Matt tried to fling his arms back to grab something on his way down, but he failed in his attempt. His body sunk slowly as he reached up, trying to kick his legs and reach his hands up in an attempt to find air. All the noises that had been so overwhelming before, dulled down to a muffled hum, the bass of the sound system could nearly be felt as Matt struggled in the water. Or maybe that was his heart, beating so fast and hard that he could feel it throughout his whole body.  
The water wasn't warm, in fact, it was quite cold and the extreme temperature change sent his body reeling. His panic was making his lungs burn. All Matt wanted to do was take a big breath, but his instincts thankfully held him back. Something within himself kept fighting even though every movement of muscle was laboured and heavy. He kept his eyes shut tightly as he tried his best to keep the water out of his system, not relenting as he fought to find a wall or a floor in the huge pool.

Matt could see stars in his mind, little constellations, a sign of his oxygen loss and his limited consciousness. He kept praying in his mind that Kelly would somehow see him, somehow know that he was in there; that he couldn't breathe and his lungs were suffocating painfully.

And then suddenly arms circled around him and he had barely enough wits about him to stop panicking and hold on tight to the body that was so familiar to him. He could feel his head getting light as he strayed so near to passing out. His chest started getting less heavy as the water rushed past him and suddenly he had his head above water and his lungs finally let go and pulled in a breath full of wheezing fresh air. He coughed and sputtered as he let his full weight be supported by Kelly, who was holding him tightly.

Kelly pulled Matt all the way to the shallow end, leasing him gently to the steps where they sat for the next few minutes. They were side by side, Matt doubled over, heaving oxygen into his system rapidly. Kelly was rubbing the blonde's back carefully, waiting for him to feel a little better.

"You okay?" Kelly asked softly, leaning right next to Matt's ear as he spoke.

"Yeah." Matt whispered, his throat stung from the small amount of water he'd managed to choke on.

"Sorry I couldn't get to you sooner, baby." Kelly's voice was soft, it brought this sense of calmness over Matt.

"Not your fault." Matt tried to smile, but he was so damn tired, so it was more of a weary upturn of his lips. Those lips that Kelly loved, that had just been a little too blue a few minutes ago.

Kelly rested a hand on the blonde's shoulder, squeezing it softly, "You sure you're okay, Matty?"

Matt nodded gruffly, wanting nothing more than to leave this hell hole. He groaned as his lungs burned, his head aching along with it. "Please take me home." The blonde croaked, his eyes glancing upwards to meet Kelly's piercing blue orbs. Kelly seen the pain in the other man's eyes, the pleading, the need to be back to their own space. Without this loud music or these obnoxious music, just the quietness that was relaxation and that togetherness, the kind that couldn't help but make both of them feel whole and just plain good.

The dark-haired lieutenant nodded softly, gently reaching his arm around the other man, easing him up. Nobody had noticed the entire ordeal, they'd not noticed Matt drowning, or Kelly saving him, or the poor guy hyperventilating. Further proving how different they were to these people, how much they didn't fit in with this crowd.

Kelly helped Matt over to the car, patiently helping him to stop and catch breaths here or there when he needed them. The panicky shaky feeling hadn't quite left the blonde and Kelly was picking up on it. They got to the car after a few minutes and Kelly wasted no time in opening the passenger door for Matt.

"We gotta get these wet clothes off you." Kelly murmured as he gently grabbed the hem of Matt's tee, pulling it up and over the man's head.

Matt was visibly shivering but complied as he was rid of the cold t-shirt that was sticking to his tight muscles. Thankfully Kelly kept a spare hoodie in his trunk. As much as he hated to leave Matt unattended, he had to quickly rush over to open the trunk and grab the large, cozy sweater. He wanted to warm up his boy and keep him from catching a cold.

Kelly slid the sweater over Matt's matted blonde hair, gently as he could. The soft lining of the sweater instantly provided warmth to his cold, shaking body.

Then it was driving home, the speedometer bordering the speed limit as the engine purred. Kelly looked over to his boy whenever he could, every spare glance at a red light or stop sign. His heart throbbed at the sight of Matt curled up in his sweater, half-sitting, half-laying in the passenger seat.

Kelly could barely resist picking the man up and carrying him into the house. He instead helped the poor guy in by supporting half his weight as he stumbled into the house.

"C'mon baby boy, let's get you warmed up." Kelly murmured into Matt's ear, sliding his arm around the man as he led him further into their house. Matt nodded as he leaned his head against the man's shoulder, taking a deep breath, finally beginning to relax.


	11. Distraction

It all started off pleasantly enough, a lovely day at the beach. Day one of their amazing vacation. It was a well deserved time off for the two of them, especially with the rough year they'd have.. Kelly had promised that if Matt beat the cancer, he'd take him away for a dream vacation; now that Matt was finally in remission, Kelly wasn't about to stray from his end of the bargain.

The temperature was lovely and warm, the waves crashed beautifully against the shore, the sound both soothing and beautiful. They were laying on their surfboards in somewhat of a calmer area, enjoying the way the water lulled them side to side, the way the sun basked them in warmth. their boards were side by side, their linked hands stopping them from drifting apart. 

They had gone on quite a few runs straight already and were now taking a short break. Matt still hadn't fully regained his energy and strength, but he was nearly there, and every day was an improvement. He hoped that he'd be back to work within the month, for Matt's sake, Kelly was hoping the same. He hated not being able to keep an eye on the man whilst he was on shift. 

"You're getting good at this," Kelly murmured, his eyes reflecting the blueness of the ocean.

Matt ran his hand through his wet hair, pushing it away from his face. "This isn't the first time I've been surfing, Kelly." 

"Oh, I know. But this is the first time we've been surfing together," Kelly started with a rambunctious grin, "I mean most people would be distracted by my stunning good looks." He winked subtly, "So, I mean I'm just surprised you're able to keep your cool."

"Well," Matt laughed, his eyes sparkling brightly. "I'll have you know, it's very difficult for me to focus on not drowning when you're out here."

It was Kelly's turn to laugh now, and he did so with a huge grin on his face, unbelievable amused. "I love you," He smiled, using their attached hands to pull Matt's board close enough that Kelly was able to lean forward and kiss him.

"I love you, too." Matt replied quietly, losing himself in the look Kelly was giving him. With a smile, Matt sat back up on his board. "Ready to go again?" 

"I think I'll sit this run out, I'll be watching though." Kelly grinned as he gave Matt's hand a squeeze. "Hey, by the way, have I ever told you how sexy you look in a wet suit?"

Matt shook his head fondly as he erupted in silent chuckles, "Kelly Severide, what am I going to do with you." He feigned exasperation, smirking in Kelly's direction as he began paddling in the direction of big swells. An absolutely mouth-watering swell began building before his eyes, and by the look of it, Matt would just be able to make it. The blonde paddled furiously trying to get into the right position. Then it was a matter of keeping his balance as he stood up and rode the wave out.

Matt was completely engrossed in his surf, the way the water splashed around him, the feeling of his board cutting through the bright blue water. So he didn't see what Kelly saw, he didn't hear Kelly yelling at him, telling him to come back to shore either. The sound of the wave crashing was just too loud. "Matt!" Kelly was screaming now, just like he would if he was calling through the roar of flames and clouds of smoke inside a dingy building.

As soon as Matt had started riding the wave, he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him, but a second later he knew it was really there. Kelly's heart tightened because there was a silhouette of a shark fin at the top of the wave, and it wasn't ten feet away from his boy.

Matt finally took a moment to glance over to Kelly, a big grin planted on his face because this was so much more fun than chemotherapy. But as soon as Matt seen Kelly's terrified and worried face, he knew something was very wrong. The sudden pang Matt felt in his gut, the one of concern and fear, disoriented Matt a little and he soon lost his balance, falling into the water with a great crash.

Kelly's heart dropped from his chest into his twisting stomach. Without hesitating for a single moment, Kelly started paddling towards the spot where Matt had fallen in. His concern only grew as moments passed and Matt didn't surface.

When Matt fell in, he instantly tried to swim up and get his head above water, but he soon felt something clamping around his lower leg. He tried to fight it, but whatever was on his leg wouldn't let go and he was just being pulled further down. Matt tried to swim away and get to the surface, but he was being held down tightly and he knew there was no use doing that until he was free. Matt was running on adrenaline at this point, that he knew. A sudden idea occurred to Matt, maybe he needed to get this thing off him before trying to swim away. He reached down somewhat cautiously, blindly trying to figure out what was clinging onto him. He nearly passed out when he felt the distinct shape of the nose, because this was one of his worst fears. He was all alone down here, and there was a damn shark biting his leg.

Matt recalled seeing something about sharks on TV, something about their eyes being a weak spot that, when pressed, releases their jaw. He remembered at the time, he hadn't thought it was true, in fact he'd dubbed it utter bullshit, but now here he was. Under the sea, in a fight with a shark. Terrifyingly, the shark was winning the battle, so you're damn right that Matt started hitting the damn thing and trying to locate the eye sockets so he could try to shove his fingers into them. By some great miracle, the shark loosened it's grip on his leg just enough the Matt was able to swim up desperately away. 

When Matt emerged from the blue abyss after nearly a full minute of no trace, a full minute of Kelly thinking the worst, Kelly wasted no time in grabbing Matt and pulling him onto the board. The shark looked like it was about to surface again, but Kelly was ready. As soon as the savage animal began barreling toward them, he quickly shoved Matt's surfboard into the huge fish's mouth. It was already broken in half, so there was nothing else to lose at this point anyways. Kelly was a strong swimmer, but even he was doubting himself as he raced to the shoreline, pushing the board with Matt's body in front of him. He didn't dare looking behind him, he just looked ahead because he needed to get Matt to safety.

Kelly's muscles burned as he collapsed into the sand of the shore, he only allowed himself a couple of seconds to catch his breath before he rolled over to tend to his boy.

"Matt?" He called gently, getting to his knees in front of Matt. The water lapped around his legs as the blood dripped from Matt's wound into the wetness below, turning the water an off-putting pinkish colour.

"Yeah?" Matt mumbled semi-conscious, groaning as the adrenaline began to fade and the pain was no longer masked.

Kelly inspected the bite on Matt's leg, "Matt you need to see a doctor, like now."

"I.. I-" Matt was struggling to stay lucid. "I can't walk on this."

"I got you, baby boy." Kelly murmured softly, reaching his arms around Matt's body and securely lifting him up. "Stay with me now." He instructed, carrying his boy to the car, pushing through the burning muscles and the exhaustion that was setting in.

~

An intense car ride and 87 stitches later, Matt was nearly asleep in the hospital room, beginning his recovery. 

"Sev?" Matt whispered hoarsely.

Kelly reached out to grab Matt's hand, squeezing it ever so gently. "Yeah?"

"Don't distract me next time," Matt grinned sloppily, probably high on pain drugs. Nonetheless, it was absolutely adorable and Kelly couldn't help but chuckle quietly.

"I'll do my best."


	12. Trapped

"Matty?" Kelly whispered, trying to reach Matt even though he could see that the man was already shutting himself down.

Matt didn't reply, continued hyperventilating, as if he couldn't get enough air. His lungs burned as they pulled air in and out quickly and shallowly. A pair of arms wrapping comfortingly around him from behind wasn't even enough to pull him from the thoughts inside his thrumming mind. Matt's heart was beating in his ears as he ran shaky hands through his blonde hair.

Matt was in the bathroom with the door wide open, he stood in front of the sink, using the counter to support his weight. Matt had just taken a long shower, and only managed to throw a towel around his waist before his body started to go into a panic.

"Matty? C'mon, talk to me... Matt?" Kelly turned Matt around in his arms, finding a secure hold.

He was there again. The cold confines of the junked refrigerator. Nobody would find him out here, not in this landfill surrounded by duplicates of the exact model he was currently locked inside. But if nobody found him these bombs would go off and there... there wouldn't be anything left of him to find..

Matt was breathing raggedly, unable to keep a steady pace. All he could think about was how he needed to try harder to get out, yell louder, but his body was frozen as a tear trickled down his cheek.

"Matt you're safe, I've got you okay? You've gotta breathe for me though." Kelly instructed gently, carefully adjusting his hold because he knew what would come soon. He knew what would happen if Matt couldn't get control of his breathing.

Coarse breaths were the only thing audible in that moment besides Matt's heartbeat in his ears. "Kel.."

"Shh, it's okay." Kelly's face was overcome with concern as he observed Matt's breathing getting impossibly faster as the blood drained from his face. His lungs were working overtime, and besides Kelly's soft words, the inhales and exhales were the only noise in the room. "Just breathe."

Matt tried so hard. Fuck, he tried. Tried to calm his breathing and tried to fight for the oxygen so desperately. His face was contorted into an exhausted wince and he was breaking into a cold sweat.

Matt was collapsing, he could feel it. His legs going numb as black and white static crowded around his vision. "Matthew." Kelly huffed out worriedly, holding onto the man's full weight as it slumped against him.

Kelly swiftly hauled Matt into his arms, carrying him into the bedroom. He lay Matt gently on the bed, sat on the edge of the mattress. This happened more than Kelly liked, and all because of that stupid day. That stupid son of a bitch who took his boy away.

They got Matt back, sure as hell they did. Kelly was there on the search, he was the one to take Matt home after everything. The bomb squad. The ambulance ride to the hospital. The treatment for his dehydration and the stitches for his minor cuts.

When Matt woke up in his bed a few minutes later he was shaking and whimpering. Kelly scooped him up and held him against his chest, letting his boy sob into his chest. "You're safe... Shhh..." He murmured and rubbing Matt's back, holding him tightly. "I've got you." Kelly kissed Matt on the top of his head, his lips lingering in Matt's thick blonde hair. "You're safe."


	13. Remember

After being rescued, Matt was in a coma for 36 days.

 

_36 days._

_Over a month._

_Nearly 5 weeks._

 

Who knew that one man's hand could result in this? Who knew that an entire week of being kidnapped, held hostage, tortured, and beaten would turn into this? Who knew that Matt would be able to survive the relentless rape, the cold chains, the starvation, and the extreme levels of rough abuse?

Nobody did, nobody believed it was possible.

Because when they finally found Matt, when he was _finally_ rescued. His body was so swollen and bloody he wasn't even _recognizable_.

The biggest question the doctors asked themselves and each other as they observed Matt, lying lifelessly atop the hospital bed: How extensive would the brain trauma be?

The biggest likelihood is that he wouldn't be able to remember, he'd likely have severe amnesia and memory loss. Might lose full function of his body. The trauma was just so... traumatic.

Kelly of course stayed by his side every moment he possibly could. He'd savour the feel of Matt's heartbeat, every rise and fall of his chest. He'd memorize the way his blonde hair stuck up in just about every direction possible. The peaceful expression that covered his face. Kelly would pretend he wasn't intubated though, he'd imagine those dark circles around his eyes faded away. The multitudes of stitches, gone. Matt didn't really look like himself, even now. He was pale, so _pale_. But that's probably because he arrived here with half his blood left behind on that dirty, grimy basement floor.

The first week of the coma Kelly's hopes were piled so high he could have stepped right out of the atmosphere. He imagined that Matt would just open his eyes and everything would be just like it had before. Everything would be fine and dandy, and Kelly would keep him safer than ever before... But Matt continued sleeping and didn't move a muscle.

The second week, Kelly was a little less sure about the whole thing. People told him that Matt could hear him, but who really knew? As far as most seen it, Matt was already a lost cause and not worth fighting for. Most thought that his brain was without oxygen for too long, that even if he woke up, his quality of life would be terrible.

Then came the third week. Kelly's hope turned into some figment of his imagination. He could barely eat or sleep, and his fear of losing Matt was rising by the minute. People told him, " _Sorry for your loss_." But they were blind, couldn't they see that Matt was going to wake up soon? Going to be completely fine?

The one month mark was by far the worst yet. They'd lost all hope he would ever wake up, ever see the light of day. " _Maybe you should start thinking about withdrawing life support_ ," They said to him. But like hell Kelly was going to ever authorize pulling the cord though, he wanted Matt to have every chance to come back. Kelly might be his emergency contact, his best friend, and maybe a little more than that, but he wasn't going to be the one who took away his last breath. He'd promised to never ever let him go, and he didn't break his promises, least of all to Matt.

 

Then almost a week later, by some damn miracle, those brilliant blue eyes fluttered open. 

They'd been open for all of five minutes before the whole entire hospital heard about it, or so it seemed. Matt could have almost laughed at the surprised faces around the room. He was a monkey at a zoo, the was the prized chimp. When monkey does the special thing, he gets all the attention; Matt came out of his coma, apparently that was special enough to warrant this many people staring at him at once. Their stark white jackets and the stethoscopes around their necks, gaping mouths and incredulous looks of disbelief. Some were students, a few were residents, even a couple surgeons came to check him out. He was nothing more than a display piece, a new form of learning equipment. He was just a body that did a cool thing that it wasn't really supposed or expected to do.

 

_"Do you remember?"_   
_"Do you know why you're here?"_   
_"Do you recall what happened?"_

 

They all seemed to ask in unison, their voices loud against the dull beeps of the monitors.

 

Were they expecting Matt to talk?  With that tube down his throat? They weren't to bright for all their years, that time they spent becoming a doctor. Perhaps they should have become cops instead, maybe this wouldn't have happened to Matt in the first place.

 

But sure. Matt remembered everything the second he woke up.

 

 _The dark basement._ Dirty. Musty. In bad need of a reno. Matt shuttered, his head taking him back there.

 _Him_. That ugly soul, that putrid being.

 _Rape._ His mind screamed.

Punches and kicks, _broken ribs_.

 _Torture_. Louder screams echoing in his broken soul, followed by helpless shallow breathing.

 _Chains_. The heart monitor sped up, alerting everyone to his stress.

 

Go away, useless doctors. _You don't know what I've been through_. You don't ~~care~~ want to know.

 

"Let's let him rest." One of them announced, dispersing the crowd. Good, at least one of you is smart, Matt scoffed inwardly. 

Kelly was beside him, naturally reaching out to touch.

A flinch stopped him.

 

_No, no._

_I'm dirty now._

_I'm filthy._

_You don't ~~want~~ need me._

_It's okay to go, my love._

_I've been through worse._

 

No, Matt didn't forget a single thing.

 

But _fuck_. He wished he could.


	14. $9.65

Matt sighed as he flipped another burger. Firehouse 51 was hosting a big event, a fundraiser, for the community. It was supposed to be a lot of fun and up until two days ago, he was actually excited to go. Except somehow Severide had got it into his head that he wanted to have a kissing booth. The idea wasn't bad, in fact it would probably be quite lucrative considering Kelly's dashing good looks and charming personality. But something about it didn't sit right with him, he wasn't looking forward to Severide kissing a bunch of squealing women, because who knows where their lips had been? He had to look out for his fellow lieutenant, it was his civic duty as well as his 'best friend' duty, really.

Matt inwardly shuddered as he watched another woman, a crown of red locks on her head and a demeanour about her that screamed trouble, went up to the booth and handed Kelly five bucks. She left a sloppy kiss on poor Kelly's lips; the dark haired lieutenant cringed as she turned away, before wiping his mouth off vigorously.

Matt almost had to chuckle at that because it served the man right, he _really_ never should have had a kissing booth. Matt shook his head and turned back to the hot dogs and burgers he was keeping an eye on. He didn't even know why it bothered him so much, it wasn't like he'd never seen the man kiss anyone before. Matt couldn't help but look up one more time and this time it was a young blonde kissing Kelly. _Ugh_.

 _Matt_ should be the one kissing him.

Matt determinedly diverted his gaze, and it took everything he had not to look over again. Especially when another squeal erupted from the crowd that was gathered in front of Kelly's booth. Must've been a hell of a kiss.

The blonde couldn't fight the way his eyes just gravitated to Kelly's booth.

He hated this.

His blood was boiling.

Why was it so easy for those girls to just kiss him like that?

His heart was racing.

Why couldn't Matt kiss Kelly the way that raven haired woman was doing now? With lips smashing against lips, tongue grazing that bottom lip. Matt liked to think he wouldn't be as pointedly rejected as that woman had been a second after the kiss started.

His veins thrummed wildly trying to keep himself together.

Matt forced his gaze back to his burgers, unable to watch the nonsense. Plus, he was pretty sure that his long gazes in Kelly's direction were being noticed by others.

The rest of the fundraiser lasted a few more hours. 5 hours and 24 minutes to be exact.

That was 5 hours and 24 minutes of watching Kelly's lips be torn apart by a heard of wild cats.

That was 5 hours and 24 minutes of suffering in complete silence as he stoically flipped those freaking burgers and turned hot dogs.

Matt was completely in a world of his own as he rushed home the moment he was off grill duty. He ignored waves and he ignored goodbyes, and he especially ignored Kelly when the man called after him quietly, asking if he was alright.

The blonde hated this. He hated that he hated the stupid kissing booth, and he definitely hated that he was feeling some very real jealousy burning up in his heart. Matt wasn't one to hold people as property, something to have ownership over; yet when it came to Kelly, Matt was very overprotective.

Kelly wasn't expecting a knock on his apartment door at 11pm. But when he opened it to reveal an agitated looking Matt, chewing on his bottom lip and staring pensively at the floor, all expectations were gone. Because Matthew Casey didn't show up on people's doorsteps uninvited unless there was something very wrong.  
Matt edged around Kelly's confusion-ridden figure and entered the apartment. His stress level was through the roof, so he stepped over to the fridge and pulled out a cold beer, hoping it would do something to take the edge off.

"Hi." Kelly trailed after Matt nonchalantly, looking up in amusement as the man took a long swig of the cold liquid.

"I have 9 dollars and 65 cents in my pocket..." Matt stated aloud, his gaze rising from the floor to Kelly's big blue eyes.

"Okay?" Kelly was half curious, half concerned because Matt certainly wasn't acting like Matt right now.

Matt didn't say anything, just took another long swig of the drink before setting it on the counter and stepping toward the darker haired lieutenant. "If my math is right," Matt paused, taking in the fact that their lips were just only half a dozen inches apart right now. "...that'll nearly buy me two kisses."

Kelly's lips parted slightly as he began to realize what Matt meant. "The kissing booth was a one time thing..." He finally uttered out, his breath stolen.

Matt took that as a no. A heart-crushing, jaw-clenching, definite no. He nodded in understanding and with a small fake smile, turned to leave. His heart was pounding in his ears as he hoped to hell and back that he hadn't just ruined the only good friendship he'd ever had in his life. He cursed at himself inwardly for being so stupid, so forward. He was halfway to the door, ever fibre of his being groaning in disappointment when he heard one little word. One word that made him stop in his tracks and rethink every thought he'd had.

"Wait!" Kelly called, crossing the distance between them quickly. "I'm not done."

Matt turned around slowly, unsure if he'd really heard that. He couldn't possibly be hearing correctly, could he?

"The kissing booth was a one time thing." Kelly began again, a renewed confidence in his voice. "But if I kiss you, Matt. I don't want it to be just _one_ time."

Matt cracked a grin, his heart still beating fast but for a different reason this time. He closed his eyes briefly at the feeling of Kelly's arms enveloping his waist and back. Then suddenly there was warmth breath against his lips as Kelly himself began leaning in and planting a kiss on the blonde's perfectly formed mouth. Their lips melded together into one unit that worked together as if an art practiced for longer than the mere moments they were touching. Matt was breathless as he pulled away and eyes fluttered open.

"Don't drive me insane like that again," Matt mumbled against the lips in front of his, letting out a soft sigh as he recalled the pain of watching those Kelly's gorgeous lips being overrun by too many unappreciative women.

"Well it worked, didn't it?" Kelly grinned, pulling Matt in for another spectacular kiss.

 _Yes_.

 _Definitely worked_.


	15. Late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday to the sweetest angel out there, FiveStarFrankieFandom! x

It was around 2 in the morning when Kelly came sauntering into Matt's office. He knew the blonde was still awake because his light was still on and the blinds were closed. It had been an exhausting shift and Kelly felt that he should really be fast asleep, however his mind was much to busy to settle down.

Matt was filling out a report when Kelly walked in. He looked up when the dark-haired lieutenant closed the door behind him.

"Hey," He murmured, turning his chair around to face the man.

"Hi." Kelly yawned, sitting down at the foot of Matt's bunk.

"You're not asleep?" Matt asked in concern, noticing how weary and run down Kelly looked.

"No." He shrugged, "Neither are you."

"Lots of paperwork," Matt smiled tiredly.

They both knew exactly why neither of them were able to sleep. They knew what the last call had meant. They knew the burns on Kelly's arms and the bruises on his back meant so much more than anyone would realize. It showed just how close the man had come to the end of his career, to death.

"You okay?" Matt asked softly as he left his chair and crouched in front of Kelly.

Kelly nodded, "Always."

"You can drop the act." Matt smiled warmly.

Kelly chuckled softly, "I'm fine."

Matt raised an eyebrow knowingly, taking Kelly's hands into his own. "Whatever you say."

"Really, I am." Kelly smiled at the man, tilting his head to one side as he admired the way the soft light framed Matt's face. "Came to see if you could check on my burn..." He murmured after a minute, "I'd do it myself but it's on the back of my neck."

"Of course," Matt replied with a nod, standing up and grabbing the med kit that he kept in his desk.

"Come sit here." Matt motioned to the chair that sat by his desk.

"But it's comfier here." Kelly raised a challenging eyebrow at Matt.

"But there's more light here." Matt countered, stepping over to Kelly and reaching a hand down to the man.

Kelly had a twinkle in his eyes as Matt hauled him to his feet. His head felt woozy from exhaustion and his wounds hurt like hell, but Matt's grin made him the happiest man alive. Kelly sank into Matt's embrace for a few moments; the blinds were drawn and the lighting was too low for anyone to see. Not that he cared much about that, if it were up to him they'd be out and proud, but Matt wasn't ready. Matt was the kind of guy whose dad beat him up over the fact he was into guys, and even with the man gone, Matt would never be able to admit out loud the things he did behind closed doors.

Kelly completely understood though, and he knew it was so much better for Matt's mental health to keep their relationship on the down low for now. Even if it meant hiding something so big from so many of their closest friends. Maybe someday the blonde would change his mind, but Kelly would never ever force him and he felt at peace about how things were.

Matt led him to the chair and helped him sit, "You okay?" He murmured as Kelly wobbled a little.

"Yeah." The man nodded firmly, his eyes portraying his weariness.

Matt raised an eyebrow sceptically but moved on anyways. He peeled back the bandage on the back of the man's neck, watching as Kelly winced.

"Doesn't look pretty..." Matt mumbled as he began cleaning and redressing the burn. He tried to be as gentle as he could, but Kelly's perpetual grimace proved his efforts weren't exactly efficient. "Sorry, Kel." Matt apologized. He hated nothing more than seeing the dark-haired lieutenant in pain.

"S'all good.." Kelly smiled, "I'm good." He said through gritted teeth.

Matt slathered on a generous helping of burn ointment before placing a fresh gauze bandage on top. He planted a feather-light kiss on the white cloth and proceeded to grab Kelly's shoulder firmly, giving it a light squeeze before helping the man back up.

Kelly gravitated back into Matt's arms and the blonde understood why. This particular situation had been reversed many more times than either cared to admit. It was also a well known fact in their relationship that Kelly got a little clingy when he got banged up; when he came too close to the worst. When the world, when everything, seemed so easy to lose in a second. Those were the times when Kelly needed more, when he desired the familiar feeling of strong arms wrapped around his weary soul.

"Matty?" Kelly murmured sleepily as he nuzzled his face against Matt's neck.

"Hmm?" Matt hummed absentmindedly, lost in the way Kelly's heart was currently beating against his chest.

"Can I sleep here tonight?" He asked quietly. Almost like a kid asking his mom for a cookie, already knowing he can't have it.

"You know you can't." Matt answered solemnly, a sad smile on his face. His heart hurt as he watched Kelly's expression drop. "...'Least not at work."

"Just this once?" Kelly sighed brokenly.

Matt shook his head, "No... We gotta—"

"N-no it's fine... it's fine." Kelly smiled bravely, not wanting to put Matt in the middle of a difficult situation.

"I'm sorry, Kel." The blonde whispered, rubbing Kelly's back, "I wish you could... But you know how it is."

"Yeah," Kelly nodded. "I should be used to this by now." He sighed.

"3 years married and we're still sneaking around behind closed doors." Matt chuckled dryly, "If we're not used to it by now.. don't think we'll ever be."

Kelly sighed tiredly, "You're probably right."

"Need me to come tuck you in?" Matt spoke up a few minutes later, sensing Kelly's body relaxing against his own. There wasn't any joking or sarcasm in his voice, only soft, serious, care.

Kelly nodded absentmindedly, head so fuzzy and ears ringing so much he could barely hear his own thoughts. That was because of the blast, the sheer velocity in which the explosion had thrown him.

"Let's go, Sevy." Matt pulled away and half dragged Kelly to his own bunk, ready to help the man lay down and relax. Ready to kiss him goodnight and crowd his sheets around him.

It was quiet and cozy. Matt's soothing voice as he talked to the man about this and that, small things that didn't even matter. Stroking his hair and calming him down.

Kelly was nearly asleep, eyes closed before his head even hit the pillow. "You sure you can't stay?" He asked sleepily.

Matt shook his head, "No, sorry buddy."

Matt left him be and silently exited Severide's office, closing the door with a faint click. 

He was nearly back to his own office when he paused. He let out a long sigh, that dark-haired lieutenant had him wrapped around his finger like no one else. He doubled back to Kelly, entering the room and closing the blinds.

"Got room in there for one more?" Matt asked softly, small smile on his exhausted features.

"But you said.." Kelly grumbled groggily.

"I know what I said," Matt replied as he crawled under the blankets beside Kelly. "But my boy needs me and I'm not going to let him down."

Kelly just grinned as he shuffled up to Matt, taking in a deep sigh of relief as he wrapped an arm around Matt's chest.

"Thank you." Kelly whispered into Matt's neck, falling asleep a few short moments later.


	16. Marathon

Kelly had already been awake for a short while when he heard Matt groan in his sleep. Not a waking-up kind of groan, nor a pleasant kind of groan. It was a pain-filled, agonizing groan.  A sound that had become sadly familiar to Kelly since the accident. 

The blonde grimaced slightly as he stretched out his bad leg from it's bent position under the covers.

"Hey, baby." Kelly whispered, turning his body towards the other man. "You alright?"

Matt nodded sleepily, eyes clenched tightly shut "...'m fine."

Kelly pulled himself up and sat against the headboard so he could observe the blonde more clearly; see what he needed, see how he was. "Need some painkillers?"

Matt just shrugged, he hated taking them, but sometimes his body couldn't bear to deal with the pain. The pins and needles or the dull aches, even the burning sensations that made him want to rip his whole leg off at times. There were occasions when all he wanted was to take the meds, but they seemed to only take the edge off.

Kelly just smiled sympathetically at Matt, and reached over to the nightstand. He took one of the many bottles from the drawer and held it near to his eyes to look at the label, double-checking that he was about to give the right one.

He unscrewed the cap and took out one of the many pills; they could supplement later if the first wasn't enough. He held it to Matt's lips and quickly followed that with his water bottle. 

Matt coughed a little, sputtering on a few drops of water that went down the wrong hole. He almost laughed, he should be well used to taking all these pills by now. However here he was, Severide helping him sit up, supporting him with a strong arm across his chest as he nearly hacked up a lung. Kelly rubbed his back soothingly and whispered soft words of encouragement into Matt's soft blonde hair. A small act of affection that Kelly often did, that never went unnoticed by Matt.

He soon quieted and Severide let his weak body lay back on the mattress; he looked down in concern as Matt's lids closed in exhaustion. 

"You alright?" Kelly pondered. He'd always hating seeing Matt in pain, yet the man was often hurting these days;  his leg had been bothering him a lot the past few days.

Matt nodded swiftly.

"Should I get the heating pad?" Kelly asked gently.

Matt nodded again, eyes fluttering back closed, "Sure."

Kelly pulled the pad from the floor beside the bed, flicking it on and wrapping it around Matt's lower thigh and knee. "Is that okay? You good?"

"Yeah, thanks." Matt mumbled barely audibly.

"You okay?" He murmured, leaning down to plant a kiss on Matt's warm forehead.

Matt nodded subtly, creaking open one of his eyes, staring at Kelly in slight amusement. "Just as fine as the third time you asked, Sev." 

"I'm sorry." Kelly grinned fondly, "Can't help asking, especially when you're half dead over there."

"Half-dead?" Matt smiled softly, "But I've never felt this alive."

"Mhmm." Kelly nodded amusedly, pushing himself back up against the headboard, stretching his arms out far to either side as a yawn escaped from his lips. The darker-haired man sighed contently, watching as Matt shuffled closer to him. A moment later, Matt moved his head to rest on top of Kelly's lap, and Kelly carded his fingers through those strands of golden hair he had come to love so dearly.

Kelly kept playing with Matt's hair and hummed a soft tune, looking out the window of their apartment at the Chicago skyline. The sun was still behind most of the buildings in front of their own, so only a few stray rays flooded into the room. It cast a bright, orange glow around everything, and Kelly couldn't help but love the way it was hitting Matt's bare back.

Soon, Kelly had soothed Matt successfully back to sleep, and he was able to carefully sneak away to the washroom and relieve his full bladder. When he returned to the bedroom, he smiled lovingly at Matt, unable to resist just standing there and staring at his beautifully toned back and his messy hair. 

Kelly eventually pulled the soft, fluffy duvet over Matt so he was fully covered, then went about looking for some clothes. The early morning fall air was chilly, and simply wearing his boxer briefs wasn't going to cut it. So he found some joggers and a hoodie, throwing them on silently as he made his way to the kitchen. He set the coffee to brew first, then worked on preparing breakfast for the two of them. 

It wasn't until Kelly was back on his way to their bedroom, tray of breakfast in hand, that he heard Matt let out another pained groan. 

"Hey." Kelly cooed, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Matty?"

Matt's eyes, the only part of his face that wasn't covered by the blanket, fluttered open slowly. He took a moment to reorient himself in his surroundings, smiling slightly when he stared up at Kelly's gleeful expression.

"Made you some breakfast." Kelly looked irrevocably pleased with himself.

"You did?" Matt smiled widely, beginning to push himself up to a sitting position.

Kelly set the tray in Matt's lap, "I did."

"Thanks. This is—" Matt's twinkling eyes lifted up to Kelly's own, "This is great."

Kelly just nodded happily, stealing a piece of bacon off the plate. "How's the pain? Scale of one to ten."

"Only, uh—" Matt picked up the coffee from the tray, taking a long sip. "–like a six."

"Okay, so if we translate that from Matthew Casey's pain index to a regular person pain index." Kelly made a show of counting on his fingers. "That means you're hitting a hard nine and a half."

Matt laughed quietly, "Pretty much."

Kelly frowned, "Can I do anything? A massage maybe?"

"Actually, yeah." Matt nodded, a weak smile spreading across his lips. "That'd be great."

Kelly just grinned at the blonde for a short moment, before he pulled away the blankets, revealing the slightly swollen appendage. He grabbed the bottle of the muscle pain lotion from the nightstand drawer and applied a generous helping to his palm. He rubbed his hands together for a few moments to try to warm the lotion up, so that the process would be more comfortable for Matt. 

He applied it gently to the skin of Matt's leg, slowly massaging the gel into the flesh. He fought with the sinewy muscles, trying to eradicate some of the tenseness as he watched Matt's eyes flutter closed. Matt didn't often say yes to help of any kind, so when he did, Kelly made sure it was well worth the man's while. 

Sometimes massages helped the most, other times only the pain medication was needed. And yet other days, Matt was just as good as new, but they hadn't had one of those days for a while. Matt blamed that on the cold weather setting into his bones, and Kelly agreed that it was the likely cause. That didn't stop him from making Matt go to the doctor to get everything checked out, just as a precaution in case something _was_ wrong. Kelly's worries were mostly sated when the doctor gave the all clear, but nonetheless, Kelly couldn't help but overthink everything. He didn't think he'd ever fully stop worrying about Matthew Casey, not when his bright blue eyes and his dashing good looks were settled in a pained heap on the bed in front him.

"Any better?" Kelly asked over twenty minutes later, when the breakfast tray was emptied and the massage was winding down to a halt.

"Much." Matt sighed in relief. 

Kelly smiled as he replaced the heating pad and crawled up to lay next to Matt, "Perfect."

"Just like you." Matt grinned sleepily into Kelly's neck, turning his body toward the dark-haired lieutenant and flinging an arm across his chest. 

"Look at you go, ya flirt." Kelly chuckled silently. "So I was wondering..."

"Yeah?" Matt mumbled nearly incoherently, his head nestled in the crook of Kelly's shoulder.

"What you wanna do today?" He asked nonchalantly, finding Matt's hand on his chest and covering it with his own.

"I don't know. Don't think I'll be able to do much." Matt exhaled deeply. Kelly could tell he was disappointed in himself, disappointed that he could be out and about with Kelly doing memorable things.

"Sounds like a movie marathon to me." Kelly smirked, turning his head towards Matt. They were face to face now, and Matt couldn't help but grin at Kelly's twinkling eyes. "What do you think?"

"Well that's about the only marathon I actually can do these days." Matt muttered dejectedly.

"Hey now, you'll be back running with me again soon." Kelly reassured, kissing Matt on the cheek. "Now how about it, a movie marathon?"

"You realize if it's anything like the movie marathon we had a couple days ago," Matt raised an eyebrow quizzically, "I'll just end up laying in your arms and not moving much, and probably sleep a lot."

Kelly smiled fondly, squeezing his hand gently. "Wouldn't have it any other way, Matty."


	17. Tension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas to all you beautiful people out there, even if it's very much not Christmas when you read this. Love you all, you rays of sunshine! x

Kelly had been watching Matt putter around their apartment since he'd gotten home from a construction job. Doing this and that, tidying up, doing laundry, and cleaning up in general, the things he often did when he had a bad day. Kelly began watching the way his tense muscles strained against his plain white tee shirt; the way his hand kept gravitating to his shoulder in order to provide some relief to the sore flesh.

The expression on his face seemed to portray the way he was feeling internally, that worn out, stressed to the core kinda feeling. Kelly also noticed those bags under his bright blue eyes, they proved how long a day the man had had.

"Casey, cmon." Kelly stated as he pulled two beers out of the fridge. He turned to Casey who was just finishing up loading the dishwasher.

"Hmm?" Matt wondered aloud, a small cloud of confusion on the man's face.

"The apartment is clean enough, Case. You need to sit down and relax. You look like you're about to pass out." Kelly explained, taking in how pale he was. "Come watch a movie with me."

Matt sighed softly, giving a tired nod as his agreement. He followed Kelly to the couch and sat next to him, taking the ice cold beer that was being offered to him.

Matt took a few long sips of his brew before leaning forward to set the beer on the coffee table. As soon as the bottle was safely on the coaster and he was about to pull back his arm, a sharp pain shot through his shoulder, making him gasp.

Kelly winced inwardly as he watched Matt tenderly pull his arm back towards himself, "How the hell did you manage to pull that kind of number on yourself?"

Matt shrugged, feeling the tightness in his shoulders as he did so. "Long day."

Something about the way he said it, led Kelly to believe there was more to the story than that. "Wanna talk about it?" Something Kelly didn't often offer, but when his best friend was so wrung out, it wasn't even a question anymore.

Matt simply shrugged at the offer, rolling his shoulders back in a far fetched effort to loosen himself up more.   
Kelly moved to sit on the ground and motioned for Matt to join him. "Cmon, sit in front of me, I'll loosen up those shoulders."

"Loosen up my shoulders?" Matt shot him a mildly amused look.

"Nothing wrong with a good old fashioned shoulder massage from your roommate." Kelly smiled, looked back at him, sincerely hoping he'd agree because shit that man was in rough shape.

Matt gingerly got up off the couch and let himself down on the floor, sitting between Kelly's legs. "Here?"

"Yeah that's good." Kelly murmured as he started lightly massaging the shoulders in front of him. "So, tell me, what happened today?"

Matt let out a small breathe as he felt his protesting flesh begin to warm to Kelly's touch. "Well I brought that new candidate with me." Matt began, "He said he was great with tools and had a lot of experience with this kind of work, so I was like, why the hell not, right?" He stopped to let out a small groan of pleasure as Kelly hit just the right spot.

"Ahh, I see." Kelly murmured softly, "What'd he do?"

"Just everything that could have gone wrong went very wrong," Matt winced as Kelly began working a knot in his back. "He was cutting all the two by fours just way too short,"

"Shame." Kelly nodded, finding another knot.

"Most of his nails only made it halfway in the wood because he bent them so bad," Matt murmured.

"Oh no." Kelly chuckled lightly, "Rookie move."

Matt leaned forward a little bit as Kelly began deeply massaging his neck. "He shot me with the nail gun." Matt grunted in annoyance.

"What?" Kelly exclaimed in surprise, "Where? Are you hurt?"

"The steel toe of my boot, lucky shot." He frowned, "It was just— ooooh, yep, right there." He moaned softly when Kelly hit another sore area.

"Then he knocked me off the scaffolding. Intentionally? I don't know." Matt sighed. "Oh and then, this guy gets so frustrated with me, he starts chasing me around with the damn hammer."

Kelly took a moment to observe the way Matt's muscles had begun to soften already. "Fuck that guy."

"Yeah fuck that guy." Matt agreed with a slight nod. Kelly could help himself as he reached down to pull off Matt's shirt, it was all so he could access the muscle better, of course. Matt let it happen without a word about it. "And then, the nerve of this guy, he said he deserved all the pay for the job."

Kelly leaned forward, his face an inch from Matt's skin, warm breath drafting across it as he spoke, "The hell is wrong with this man?"

Matt shivered at the feeling of Kelly's voice drifting across his skin, the warmth contrasting against his roughened up body. "He's not— not a real man, glorified teenager at best."

"Mhmm." Kelly leaned a little closer, pressing his lips against Matt's shoulder, causing the man's eyes to flutter shut.

"And he yelled at _me_  – of all people – for not knowing what I was doing and—" His lips parted slowly as Kelly massaged his lower back, and left trails of feather-light kisses across his shoulder blades.

"And?" Kelly prompted with a slight smirk.

"And uh.. He—" Matt stammered as Kelly left a multitude of soft kisses on the back of his neck. 

"Yeah?" Kelly asked softly, waiting for him to continue.

Kelly was kissing up behind Matt's ear now and hell if he could remember which way was up or what the hell he had been talking about.

Matt gasped a little as Kelly neared one of his most sensitive spots just at his hairline, at the nape of his neck. "And you're kissing my back." He groaned as Kelly's hands moved upwards and began massaging his shoulders again.

Kelly chuckled as a slight grin crossed his face. "Feeling any better?"

Matt nodded softly, his body so much more relaxed already. Kelly shuffled himself backwards against, his back against the couch. He pulled Matt along with him, pulled that tired body against his chest and leaned back.

Matt was too tired to bother protesting, instead he let himself completely unwind and closed his eyes.

Kelly reached up for the blanket on the couch and spread it over Matt's bare chest. "Get some rest, buddy." He murmured to the blonde, brushing the hair away from the man's face. 

Matt didn't need to be told twice. He fell asleep right there against Kelly; his even breathing and the way he subconsciously gripped Kelly's leg in his sleep, evidence that the man was out cold. Kelly just let the poor guy sleep, finishing both their beers and allowed himself a satisfactory smile at a job well done.


	18. Fight

_They were fighting._

Well, play-fighting, wrestling over who'd get to have a free burger. The whole crew was at the annual CFD barbecue fundraiser. There was fun, there were great people and amazing food. It was over this delicious food, in fact, that Matt and Kelly made a bet. Whoever lost their little wrestling match, had to buy the winner a burger.

Needless to say, it was a long, drawn out duel. All in good fun of course, (evident among the laughs they shared during the battle,) but there was definitely some strong competition going on between the two of them. Neither of them planned to lose, because as much as they told themselves this was just for the burger, they both knew that there were unspoken bragging rights attached to this win.

Matt groaned as Kelly slammed him into the grass. They weren't fighting dirty or anything, but each man was strong and they both wanted the prize. That meant there would be inevitable injuries due to their brute power. Just as Kelly thought he'd won, Matt had a second wind and jumped back up, tackling Kelly to the ground. Kelly yelped out in surprise and returned by pouncing on Matt, pinning his body to the ground. Matt kicked him off though, pushing him away and getting ready for his next move. Kelly grinned widely as Matt got to his feet, and he started running toward the blonde. Matt sidestepped just in time, kicking out Kelly's legs from under his body and causing him to fall to the ground like a great pile of bricks. Kelly just laughed as he got up again, he was getting much too tired to keep going, but it was too fun to stop now.   
Kelly sprung to his feet like an ungrateful grasshopper and turned toward Matt, rushing at him and pulling him down to the ground with him. With Matt's body in front of him, he put Matt in a tight, but safe, headlock.

That was when the fight was _over_.

That was when Kelly _won_.

That was when Matt _shut down_.

His head being in that headlock, it—

To be brutally honest he didn't even want to fight back anymore because this was literally the closest he'd come to being hugged in years. 

 _Years_.

The feeling was so powerful, so immense, that Matt became debilitated.

He couldn't _move_ , couldn't _speak_ , couldn't _hear_.

Kelly noticed the exact moment when Matt's body went soft against his, when he stopped trying to win.

"You okay?" Kelly murmured in concern, continuing to hold Matt but loosening his grip.

Matt didn't say anything, just concentrated on the sparks that flickered around on the few patches of their touching skin.

"What's wrong?" Kelly asked desperately under his breath; Matt could nearly feel the tension and concern vibrating off Kelly.

The small crowd that had gathered around them started murmuring, whispering to each other as they watched Matt's body give up; become completely limp against Kelly's.

"Alright, guys." Kelly announced to the people surrounding them, "Show's over."

Those gathered slowly started dispersing, and as they did, Matt started becoming more aware of what was going on around him. He realized that Kelly was now kneeling across from him, concerned gaze staring into his dull eyes.

"What just happened to you?" Kelly asked again, confusion crossing his face.

Matt couldn't take it.

That _skin_ against his skin.

The way it _sparked_.

It was—

It felt like that warmth in the middle of a snow storm.

He hadn't realized it'd gotten this bad.

His _head_.

His _mind_.

 _Everything_ hurt.

Matt forgot what the human touch felt like; it'd been so long.

Too damn _long_.

"Case?" Kelly mumbled, trying to get his attention.

Matt shook his head. He stood up slowly, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his wallet. He had lost the fight, fair and square, and now he owed Kelly. He held out a few bills to Kelly, who looked at them confusedly. "Matt?"

Matt sighed softly, weakly, letting the bills slip from his shaking hands. They both watched as the money fluttered down to the ground. With a blank expression, Matt walked away.

He disappeared before Kelly could follow, let alone think of anything to say.   
  


Later on, Kelly found Matt inside Molly's getting hammered like he'd just turned twenty-one. It had just been an accident; a coincidence. Kelly was supposed to be meeting a girl for drinks but he couldn't focus on her, not when Matt was solemnly sitting down a few stools over, sadly downing another scotch. The girl Kelly was with, sensed that Kelly wasn't fully into her, so when a different guy came and asked her to come drink with him instead, she said yes.

Kelly didn't even notice her go.

He was focused on Matt, focused on keeping track of the number of shots and the level of intoxication. (Which was relatively high at this point.)

When Matt stumbled to his feet, Kelly followed suit. Leaving his full bottle of beer on the table and setting enough money beside it to cover the drink itself and then some.

"Want a ride home?" Kelly stopped Matt before he drunkenly exited the premises.

Matt shook his head, looking startled, as if he hadn't noticed Kelly sitting just feet away from him earlier, watching everything he did.

Matt grunted disapprovingly as he just barely managed to get himself out the door. It soon appeared to Kelly that balance was no longer a priority for the blonde.

"I'm taking you home, Case." Kelly murmured softly, throwing an arm around the man and leading him to his car. Matt was too inebriated to even realize Kelly was with him.

When Matt woke, he felt the weight of a large blanket covering his body, and the banging in his head that reminded him just how low he'd stooped the night before.

He groaned as he sat up, trying to fight the urge to vomit all over the couch. Kelly, appearing out of nowhere, set a bucket on Matt's lap and a glass of water and a few pills on the coffee table.

"You went hard on the liquor last night." Kelly surmised, recalling the way he'd had to half-drag Matt's body into the apartment. 

Matt just stared at him. Blinked a few times. Mind racing but none of the thoughts were relevant. Kelly was the reason he'd been drinking in the first place, what that man had _done_ to him, what he'd made him _feel_.

It wasn't _right_.

 

_Touch-starved._

That's what Matt was.

He'd been shoving all his feelings down, deep down behind his chest wall and under his heart. He wanted to stop feeling, so he made everything just — go _away_.

And then Kelly just had to go and mess it all up and put him in that damn headlock.

_The headlock._

The closest to a hug he'd gotten in some time.

It was pathetic, maybe, but what was he supposed to do?

When suddenly his nerves were activated and he was feeling the world again? _The bad and the pain._ When the whole damn world felt like it was clawing at his throat.

Matt suddenly didn't feel the need to puke anymore, instead, his whole body ached and he couldn't help the dry sob that escaped from his throat.

"Casey?" Kelly asked worriedly, "What's wrong?"

Casey just shook his head, standing up and subsequently knocking the bucket to the floor. He quickly made his way out the door, leaving Kelly confused and concerned. 

 

 

**8 months later.**

Matt tackled Kelly to the ground, laughing happily. "Take that, you perv." He announced gleefully, his body weighing down Kelly's own, preventing him from moving. Kelly struggled against Matt's strength for a moment before letting himself be overtaken.

"I'm hardly a perv." Kelly announced through a smug grin, "I just think you look better without the shirt."

Matt looked down to his bare torso. He had been looking pretty good these days considering he was the most physically fit he'd been in a long time. That was majorly due to the fact he'd been hanging out with Severide a lot more lately. It had started off as getting coffee together every now and then, (Matt had sworn off drinking alcohol for a while, so bars were out of the question. Kelly understood.) which then turned into going to the gym together straight after shifts. Now they were even going running together on top of it all.

Matt's smile slowly fell from his face, turning into a look of adoration. He looked at Kelly for a while, just looked at him, absorbing the way he tenderly had his hands on top of the ones Matt was using to hold him down. Taking in the way his blue eyes twinkled, complimenting his smile perfectly.

"I love you, Kel." Matt smiled happily.

Kelly grinned back, flipping them both over so he was on top. "Love you too, Matty."  
He kissed Matt's forehead, "Always will."

Matt sighed happily; contently.

As they got to their feet, he gravitated to Kelly's arms. The ones that knew just how to hold him, just how to put him at ease.   
He relished in the feeling of the touch, the little patches of their bare skin that came in to contact, those sparks of electricity that sent little waves of that warm, fuzzy, heart-racing, love.

Matt was no longer touch-starved. 

Instead, his very _being_ felt alight with happiness, because every night he crawled into bed with a person he loved with all his heart, and every morning, he woke up to the most beautiful smile in all of Chicago. 


	19. Rush

When Kelly's phone started ringing and he seen Matt's name pop up on the screen, he immediately answered it. Inwardly excited because they'd both had a busy day and hadn't gotten to talk to each other yet.

"Hey, how's my man?" Kelly spoke into the phone, a smile on his lips.

"Just needed to hear your voice." Matt was laying in bed, one hand resting against his head, the other hand gripping the phone and pressing it lightly against his ear.

"What's wrong?" Kelly asked in concern. He could tell by Matt's shaky, exhausted voice that something was amiss. The blonde was currently at a firefighting conference upstate, where he would be until the end of the week. Which to Matt, would be four days of hell.

"I just—..." Matt began, trailing off just as quickly as he'd started.

Kelly frowned, sitting down on his bed. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I think," Matt sighed softly.

It was silence for a few minutes until Kelly spoke up. "Is there anything I can do?"

Matt closed his eyes. "Tell me about your day."

"Well I woke up." Severide began.

"That's a great way to start." Matt chuckled softly.

Kelly smiled. "And then I went for a run.."

"Oh, well it's good to know you're not letting your body go while I'm gone." Matt teased.

"Gotta give you a reason to come back to me." Kelly stated.

"Wish I could come back now..." Matt replied thoughtfully, his voice soft and wavering.

"Are you having a rough time?" Kelly asked in a serious tone. There was a frown on his face that he was glad Matt couldn't see.

Matt shrugged to himself, pausing before answering. "It's okay—"

"No, no," Kelly shook his head, "...None of that today Matt. Tell me how things really are."

Matt was dead silent for nearly a full minute. "... _Fuck_ , Kel. It's bad. There's this group of guys who've made it their personal goal to ruin my life."

"Who?" Kelly became very angry, standing up and carding a hand through his hair.

"Just some other firefighters... Feel like I'm a candidate being hazed again." He snorted dryly.

"Why are they targeting you..?" Kelly questioned.

This time, Matt didn't even hesitate before he said, "Those guys from house 34 and 76, remember them? Turns out they're still mad about that call from four months ago. They uh– they beat me up in the parking lot.. Tried to fight em off Kel, but— gosh, there was too many. I'm actually in the hospital now... Waiting for my CT scans..."

"You're what?!" Kelly exclaimed, quickly heading over to his closet and grabbing his duffel bag, quickly beginning to throw clothes into it.

Matt quickly interjected, "The doctors are taking care of me, it's fine. _I'm_ fine. Don't worry."

"Matt, of course I'm going to worry." He murmured, taking a deep breath, trying to calm himself as he struggled with the zipper on his bag.

"You can worry, but just don't go pulling a Kelly Severide." Matt asserted playfully.

"A what?" Kelly inquired confusedly.

"You know, where you get all protective over people you love." The blonde explained, rubbing his forehead.

Kelly softened a little, "I do love you."

"I know." Matt whispered back. "Oh uhh– the doctor just came in, I'll call you later."

"Okay. Keep me updated, alright? I love you so much." Kelly expressed softly, hand clenched by his side. The frustration flowing through his veins made him want to punch a wall, but he resisted because he was shit at replacing drywall and the last thing Matt needed when he got home was to fix that.

"I love you too, Sev." 

Kelly hung up the phone and grabbed his jacket and keys. He quickly left his house, sending a text to Boden that he wasn't feeling well and wouldn't make it to work in the morning. It technically wasn't even a lie, because his stomach was all in knots and his heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. Kelly rushed to get in his car and sped off before thinking two seconds about it.

Fast forward to 5 hours later, the sun was rising, Kelly was on his second energy drink and the hospital was within minutes away. He hastily parked and practically ran out of the car, just barely remembering to lock it before bee lining it to the entrance.

"Hi, I'm looking for a Matthew Casey?" He breathed out to the receptionist.

She looked through the computer for a moment before finding the room number. With a smile, she relayed the information to Kelly and watched in amusement as he ran to the elevator.

Kelly met Matt's doctor, who was just coming out of the room. He caught Kelly up on Matt's condition before he headed onto other patients. Kelly took a deep breathe as he quietly let himself into the room. He let out a large sigh of relief immediately, because there he was. There was his boy. There was his Matt.

He was snoozing softly and he looked at peace, two things Kelly was ultimately grateful for.   
Kelly studied the man, his arm was in a sling, his bare chest was bandaged and he had bruises all over. He hesitantly walked over to the bed and sat on the edge. Taking Matt's hand and softly brushing his thumb over it.

Matt stirred a little and his eyes began to flutter open. "Kel?" He mumbled in surprise, eyes fighting against the harsh hospital room light. "Am I dreaming?" He asked softly, looking at Kelly in awe.

"No." Kelly smiled.

Matt's face contorted in confusion, "You're really here?"

"Yes, I really am." Kelly laughed, leaning down to plant a kiss on Matt's forehead.

Matt cleared his raspy throat, "What are you doing here?"

"I needed to make sure you were okay."

The blonde smiled, "If I would've known you'd come rushing over, I would've gotten myself beat up on the first day."

Kelly looked at Matt amusedly. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired, sore, happy." Matt shrugged, looking up at Kelly adoringly.

"Happy?"

"You're here." 

"I am," Kelly smiled, "And I'm staying the rest of the week with you."

Matt's lips parted slowly. "I don't know if I want to stay at the conference."

"Didn't think you did." Kelly had a twinkle in his eye as he laid the palm of his hand on Matt's chest. "That's why I called a nice hotel on my way here, and I got us a room for three days. Thought you could use a little getaway." Kelly smirked.

"You didn't." Matt grinned, "Really?

"I even got us a room with a jacuzzi."

Matt sighed pleasantly, already so very excited. "When do we check in?"

"As soon as you're out of here." Kelly stated, loving the way Matt's eyes were sparkling.

"You didn't have to do that." Matt smiled pleasantly. 

"Sure I did," Kelly leaned down, kissing Matt's soft lips. "That's what husbands do."


	20. Safe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friends to lovers in less than 1000 words challenge!

"Sev?" Matt whispered into the phone.

"Yeah?" Severide groggily sat up in bed and looked to the clock on his nightstand. The glowing orange letters showed it was 2:37 in the morning, much too early to be awake, and definitely too early to be taking phone calls, unless it was an emergency. Kelly's brain rapidly put two and two together. _Matt_. Calling at _2:37_. Too drunk to drive? _Accident?_  

"What's going on? You okay?" Kelly asked worriedly.

"I'm okay— I think," Matt murmured, "I need you. I really need you... Can you come get me?"

Kelly was up and out of bed in no time, pulling on a pair of snug fitting sweatpants, a hoodie. "Where are you?" He asked, the phone tucked between his cheek and shoulder while he pulled on his shoes.

Matt gave him the address and Kelly couldn't help but notice the shiver in his voice. Kelly frowned and grabbed an extra sweater before heading out the door.

When Kelly pulled up to the place, he was surprised to see how alive the street was. There were people here, there and everywhere, most of them drunk out of their minds, all of them acting a fool. As he pulled up to the curb and put the car in park, he looked around briefly before pulling out his phone. He was about to call Matt, when out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the blonde's form creep out of a dark alleyway. He was looking around wildly, as if he was on the lookout for anyone who might be after him. 

He quickly slid into the car, locking the door and whispering, "Go, quick, please."

Kelly had so many questions as he pulled away from the side of the road, but he didn't know which one to ask first. So he didn't say anything, and he just handed Matt the extra sweater he'd brought. Thankful he'd had the mind to bring it considering Matt was in a t-shirt, shivering uncontrollably and curled in on himself. 

Matt took the sweater thankfully. "Th–thanks." He smiled softly.

"I'll just take you to mine since it's closer, drop you off at your apartment in the morning." Kelly suggested lightly.

"Yeah. Thanks." Matt shivered as he pulled on the hoodie.

"What happened?" Kelly asked. A full, all encompassing question that would hopefully explain why the blonde had called, why he only had a t-shirt on even though the temperatures were below freezing.

Matt paused thoughtfully, looking over to Kelly, "I think I was drugged..."

"You _what?"_ Kelly glanced at him with wide eyes, quickly averting his gaze back to the road. "Maybe I should take you to the hospital? I mean, are you okay? Did anyone hurt you?"

"The person that roofied me came after me, I passed out in that alley until I came to and then I called you. Not a big deal."

" _Casey_..." Kelly murmured softly, "You got drugged and it's 'not a big deal'?"

"No, it's not."

Kelly frowned, but he didn't push it. "So you're not hurt?" He asked carefully.

Matt shrugged, "I'm fine."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Just a bit scraped up." Matt announced reluctantly, adjusting his position in the seat.

"If you won't go to the hospital, then at least let me have a look at that when we get to my place, okay?"

Matt nodded a little, playing with the ends of his sleeves.

They soon arrived at Severide's apartment and all Matt felt like all he wanted to was fall sleep, and he almost did too. He would have if it wasn't for Severide removing Matt's shirt to check the large scrape he had gotten on his back.

He patched it up as best he could, and then set up the guest bed for the poor guy.

When he got his friend settled, Kelly exhaustedly sauntered over to his own bed. He'd fully expected to be out cold the second he hit the pillow, but no such thing happened. Instead, he lie awake, and all he could manage thinking about was the blonde in the room next door. What if Matt hadn't gotten away from the creep? What if Kelly hadn't answered his phone?

_What if?_

Kelly was just about to doze off when he heard two short knocks on his bedroom door. Initially, he felt startled because he hadn't been expecting it. But he soon clued into exactly who it was that was knocking.

"Come in," Kelly called out into the dark.

Without a word, the door creaked open and he heard soft footsteps padding against the hardwood floor, and a second later, he felt a dip in his bed. Kelly surprisingly felt Matt crawl under the bedsheets and move into Kelly's arms.

Kelly immediately held onto the blonde, wrapping his warm arms around the man.

"I'm sorry, I _just_ —" Matt started, trailing off when he wasn't sure what to say; how to explain himself.

Kelly waited patiently, ignoring the fact that he'd never in his life, held his best friend like this. He especially ignored the fact that he was enjoying it immensely, despite the gut wrenching situation.

"Somebody drugged me," Matt uttered in a small voice, sounding confused and helpless, and _oh_ so broken. "I just—..."

"I know," Kelly soothed, pulling Matt closer and threading his fingers through his soft blonde hair. "But you're safe now. "

Matt let out a long sigh of relief, "Can I sleep here? ...with you, I mean? ...Don't want to be alone."

"Of course." Kelly nodded, strengthening his grip around Matt and resting their foreheads together, "I'll always be here for you."

"Always?" Matt smiled a little, tucking his head into the space between Kelly's neck and shoulder.

" _Always_." Kelly murmured softly, listening closely as he heard Matt's breathing become more even. After he was sure the blonde was asleep, Kelly let himself go too. They stayed tangled up all night, neither of them wanting to let go of the other.


	21. Cough

"Matt?" Kelly inquired curiously as he stepped in the door, shutting out the blistering wind.

He'd finally finished his long-ass shift, it seemed to drag on forever without Matt there. But the blonde had a bad case of bronchitis and hadn't been up to coming in.

Matt, dressed in athletic shorts and a zip up hoodie, came to the entryway to meet Kelly. "Hey, baby." He rasped, coughing roughly into his elbow before making his way to Kelly and snaking his arms around his neck.

Kelly pulled him tightly to his own body, a huge grin on his face, " Matthew." He spoke softly into the man's neck, kissing his tender skin. "Is there any reason why it's cold as _tits_ in here?" He murmured bemusedly.

"Power's out." Matt mumbled nonchalantly, grabbing Kelly's hand and dragging him to the kitchen.

"Just our place?" Kelly asked in confusion.

"Whole three block radius from what I heard."

"Oh." Kelly raised an eyebrow, "When'd this happen?"

"About an hour after you left shift yesterday," Matt shrugged, "Want a coffee? I started a little fire on the porch to make some boiling water."

"Hold up," Kelly blurted out, "Why is this the first I'm hearing of this?! You must've been freezing, I would have come get you if I knew. _Matt_.. Honestly." Kelly uttered incredulously, "And a fire? On the _porch_? Are you mad?!"

"I knew exactly what you'd do if I woulda told you, that's why I didn't tell you," Matt laughed heartily, tilting his head to the side a little. "And yes. There's a fire, on the _porch_. A _very_ controlled fire, made by a professional _firefighter._ "

"Fuck, Matt." Kelly sighed heavily, "You never cease to amaze me."

Matt just grinned, walking a few steps to the screen door and opening it. A gust of wind came through the door but Matt was unfazed, he simply grabbed the kettle of boiling water and threw a substantial amount of snow in the pot he'd used to construct the fire.

"So, coffee?" Matt grinned, holding the kettle up and closing the glass door behind him.

Kelly nodded, smirk plastered on his face.

Soon, they were cuddled up on the couch, surrounded by blankets with warm steaming mugs in their hands. "How're you feeling?" Kelly asked, rubbing the man's back gently.

"Fine." He murmured, closing his eyes as he relished the feeling of being close to Kelly again. He'd admittedly been quite worried about the man, considering the storm and all. But he knew they'd both been through worse, he knew Kelly would come home to him.

"Missed you." Kelly spoke softly, "A lot."

"Missed you too," Matt smiled. After a while, he set their empty cups on the coffee table before crawling into Kelly's lap. He was about to plant his lips onto the ones in front of him when he doubled over couching. His coughing was rough and unrelenting, causing him pain and exhausting him more than he already was.

"I got you." Kelly murmured rubbing Matt's back as the man hacked up his lungs.

"You look exhausted," Kelly commented, pushing Matt's hair away from his face. "How much did you actually sleep last night?"

Matt shrugged nonchalantly, letting himself fall forward into Kelly's hold, burying his face in the man's neck, "I didn't really. Couldn't get my cough under control. Would have taken a hot shower with that decongestant stuff, but no power, so..."

"You could have called me," Kelly murmured, nuzzling Matt's hair.

"Then you wouldn't have slept either," Matt chuckled, "You worry about me too much."

"You're worth worrying about." Kelly wrapped the blanket around Matt even tighter. "Why don't we go lay in bed?" Kelly asked as he felt Matt's breath tickle his neck.

Matt nodded and he let Kelly guide him to their bedroom, Kelly made him get under the covers first while he took off his pants.

Kelly grabbed the vaporub from the side table and slid under the covers beside Matt. Just as Matt fell into another coughing fit, Kelly begin unzipping the blonde's hoodie. He applied the gel generously, rubbing Matt's chest as soothingly as he could.

Matt's cough was harsh and brought tears to his eyes from the sheer force of it. " _Fuck_." He wheezed, letting Kelly help him sit up.

The effect of the strong menthol began opening up his airways, helping him breathe, but he couldn't help but feel like he couldn't get any air into his lungs.

"Has it been this bad all night?" Kelly asked worriedly, knowing that Matt should really be in a hot shower right about now.

Matt nodded reluctantly but shrugged, exhaustedly letting himself fall into Kelly's arms.

"Matt," Kelly frowned sadly, "I'm sorry, I should've stayed with you."

"Nothin' you could've done." Matt mumbled, eyes feeling heavy as he sunk into Kelly's warmth. That man was always the warm one, always the person to keep him heated during the night.

"I'll see if I can borrow a generator from the neighbours after lunch." Kelly murmured, stroking Matt's damp hair.

"Or you could just lay in bed with me all day." Matt smirked, his body beginning to relax because of Kelly's tight hold on him.

"Or that." Kelly chuckled, "Whatever you need, you got it."

"I need you." Matt sighed, deeply inhaling Kelly's scent.

"Well, you got me, I'm not going anywhere."


	22. Six

Matt and Kelly were sitting at the bar, three empty beer bottles in front of Matt and one in front of Kelly.

"You know, Kel, you are very attractive." Matt slurred slightly, obviously inebriated. "Don't let anyone tell you you're not."

Kelly smiled a little, still feeling gloomy about the last call. "I won't."

"Why are you still sad?" Matt questioned in complete confusion, "This is the time of our lives, we're in our priiiiime."

"I could've saved her..." Kelly stared at his empty bottle, a far-away look in his dull eyes.

"No you couldn't," He shook his head. "Come on." Matt stood, pulling a few bills from his wallet and setting them under his bottle. "Let's go."

Kelly looked up, "Where?"

"My place," Matt slurred, "It's closer, you can crash on my couch."

Kelly sighed as he stood up, following Matt out the door. As they walked through the chilly wind, Matt couldn't stop talking. "You're too tense, Kel. You know what you need?"

"What?"

"You need a good fuck." Matt spoke confidently, slurring a little.

Kelly chuckled, "A what?"

"Just a good lay to make you feel nice for a night, you haven't been happy lately," Matt pointed out, "You deserve to be happy," He added in a softer voice.

"Who's gonna sleep with a pathetic failure of a man?"

"Me." Matt mumbled, as if it should've been obvious. "Not that you're pathetic."

"I'm straight." Kelly muttered, a little flustered.

"So is spaghetti... until it gets wet." Matt smirked.

They both looked at each other and burst out laughing, each having a hard time recovering as they stumbled along the sidewalk.

Kelly unlocked Matt's front door because Matt was a little too tipsy to get the key in the hole. He shooed Matt off to bed, assuring the man he knew where to find the spare blankets.

He fell onto the couch with a sigh, hoping to fall asleep instantly, but he knew that was unlikely. It was unlikely because he'd been unable to save that baby girl, and it was all his fault. Everybody told him it wasn't, but it was.

There was no denying it.

Everyone said he was a good lieutenant and he made all the right choices, but if that was so true, then why was he unable to keep that precious little life alive?

Sometime during the night, Kelly has finally passed out. He hadn't realized he'd actually fallen asleep until Matt brought him a plate of toast and eggs in the morning.

"Sleep okay?" Matt murmured, noticing Kelly's bloodshot eyes and sad expression.

Kelly nodded regardless, "Yeah, thanks for letting me crash... And for breakfast," he smiled, no brightness in his eyes when he did so. Matt was frowning because Kelly was still feeling so down.

It wasn't until after they'd both finished their breakfast that Matt finally said something more about it. "You couldn't have saved her, she was already gone." He murmured solemnly.

Kelly shrugged, setting his plate down.

"Don't let this pull you back down to your dark place, Kel."

"She was so small." Kelly shook his head, "I've never seen a burned up kid that small."

"She was probably already gone before we got there." Matt assured. Though it was heartbreakingly sad, he wasn't as affected as Kelly was, but he also hadn't been the one to carry the dead baby out of the building.

"I should've—" Kelly shook his head, staring blankly at the wall on the other side of the room.

"Don't do that."

"Don't do what?" Kelly inquired with a frown.

"Don't let yourself think like that, it'll break you." Matt said softly, "You know, you pulled six other people out of the building yesterday, I counted. That little girl may not have made it, but six people did. Six people."

Kelly looked over to Matt, looking into his deep blue eyes. He nodded slowly, letting the man's words sink in.

"Cheer up, buddy." Matt smiled reassuringly.

"Maybe you were right," Kelly chuckled dryly, "Maybe I just need a good fuck."

"I said that out loud?" Matt looked mortified.

Kelly smiled lightly, "You did..... Does the offer still uh— still stand?"

A blush quickly rose up Matt's neck and onto his cheeks. "Uhh, yeah?"

Kelly laughed heartily. "You don't sound too sure about that."

"No, no, I am— I just," Matt stood up, "You're serious?"

Kelly nodded mischievously. "As long as you are."

Matt smirked, moving himself onto Kelly's lap and pressing their lips together. Kelly moaned into Matt's mouth, deepening the kiss.

Kelly all but ripped off Matt's shirt, tossing it on the floor and roughly scratching at Matt's back as he tried to get closer.

Matt groaned as he pushed his hips against Kelly. "Kel," he uttered against the man's lips. "Are you really sure?"

"I am." Kelly nodded, eyes closed as he nuzzled Matt's neck.

 

  
A while later, they found themselves tangled in Matt's sheets, still breathing heavily as they tried to recover.

"That was..." Matt breathed out.

"Needed." Kelly murmured, taking a deep breath and letting out a sigh of relief.

Matt nodded, running a hand through his damp hair.

Kelly edged to the side of the bed, pulling on his boxers.

"Don't go." Came Matt's voice, sounding worried. The words came out of his mouth before he could manage to stop them.

"Wha?" Kelly asked in surprised, turning around to face the blonde.

"Nothin'." Matt shook his head, putting up his guards as he stared absentmindedly at the ceiling.

Kelly crawled back over to Matt and hovered over him, leaning down to place a tender kiss on his forehead.

"I was just going to wash up." He smiled, pulling back, "You thought I'd just leave after that?"

Matt shrugged, his walls still built high.

"What if I told you I didn't want this to be a one time thing?" Kelly asked softly, brushing back Matt's hair.

Matt raised an eyebrow, "You..?"

"What? You thought I just woke up one day and decided I wanted to get in bed with you?" Kelly grinned mischievously.

Matt smirked, "I don't know what I thought."

"Gosh," Kelly exclaimed amusedly, "Do you know how hard it's been to keep my hands off you the past few years?"

Matt laughed, his eyes twinkling. He seemed surprisingly happy about all of this, Kelly had never imagined he'd be so accepting.

"Matt," Kelly looked deep into his confused eyes, "I care about you. I won't abandon you like everyone else, I won't disappear."

Slowly, Matt nodded, a smile gradually spreading across his face. "Want to have a shower with me?"

"Yeah." Kelly nodded, giving Matt a big grin.


	23. Contact

Matt had nothing but a towel around his waist as he sat on the bench in the locker room. His resolve had been greatly tested as he braved the flames today, and his currently pounding headache wouldn't let him forget that. In fact it's all he could think about; the heat, the burning of his straining muscles as he tried to climb out of the basement, the grinding of his aching joints as gravity fought against him.

It had been Severide who'd finally saved his ass, swooping in with a ladder to the basement window. Laboured breathing and harsh rattling coughs were the only sounds coming from Matt's weary body while Kelly dragged him a safe distance away.

He didn't think he'd make it out of the building; his radio had broken during a collapse of the floor, and he had no way to contact anyone outside. They didn't know where he was, let alone in serious peril.

"Case?" It was Severide's words pulling him deep from his thoughts. "You okay?"

Matt nodded, twisting his hands anxiously.

As much as they both knew he was lying, neither bothered to make a point of it.

"I need to see you later." Severide was looking at him with his big bright eyes; his ever-present concern anything but surprising.

Casey nodded. It's what they did now, he supposed. A rough fuck after a hard call. He guessed that's what they'd become; he did enjoy it after all, though he was definitely left craving more. He needed that extra connection; that sense of deepness, the one that makes you feel like everything's okay. Because nothing was okay, nothing was ever okay and as much as Matt wished he could solve all his problems with a press of a button, he knew there was no way around that horrid feeling.

"I'll come around after shift." A statement, a question, that expectant look on Kelly's face.

Matt just nodded. His throat burned, his head was exploding, but he nodded. He kept nodding slowly as Kelly walked away, and whether it was to assure himself, or a movement to the void, he didn't know. Didn't bother to think much about it.

Matt heard a knock on the door as he was hustling through the medicine cupboard, looking for something stronger.

"Come in," He muttered loudly, in no mood to socialize.

Kelly let himself in, surprised Matt had left the door completely unlocked. He made sure to turn the deadbolt into position before making his way over to Matt.

Normally this was the time when Kelly would shove Matt against some piece of furniture (probably a little harder than necessary) and start stripping their clothes off. Matt liked it, he always did, but he wasn't in the mood today. Except Kelly had said that he needed this today, and recently Matt had found himself doing anything for that man.

Matt watched silently, his sore body leaning into the counter behind him. Kelly approached him slowly, his careful steps fully planned and intentional.

"Hey." Severide murmured softly, his eyes tracing Matt's form.

Matt nodded in acknowledgment, trying his best to give Kelly a smile, but knowing it was a lost cause.

"Are you in pain?" Kelly asked worriedly, "What hurts?

"Everything." Matt's dry laugh did nothing to make Kelly feel better.

"Come," He tugged Matt's hand, urging him to follow, "I'll see if I can help."

Fully expecting Kelly to grab the necessities from the nightstand drawer and begin tearing off his clothes, Matt was surprised to see the other man gently lead him to the bathroom. Kelly turned the warm water on and began filling the tub, meanwhile, he began gingerly removing Matt clothes. As soon as the clothes where moved into a neat pile in the corner, Kelly guided Matt's battered body into the warmth of the inviting water.

"Is it okay? Not too hot?" Kelly murmured softly, watching Matt's face for any sense of discomfort.

"It's good." Matt murmured, a soft sigh escaping his lips.

Kelly rolled up a towel and placed it behind Matt's head, cushioning his sore muscles as he leaned back. Kelly couldn't help but watch as the blonde's eyes fluttered closed, his aching body visibly relaxing and his breathing slowing down. He reached a tender hand up to Matt's shoulder, rubbing it gently and helping the muscle wind down. The blonde groaned into the touch, pleasantly surprised by the close contact that Kelly was giving him. The completely non-sexual, heartwarming, caring, close contact.

Kelly stayed by Matt's side as he melted into the steaming bath water, letting the heat invigorate his muscles. And when the water began cooling and Matt was done soaking, Kelly helped him out of the tub, surrounding him in a warm towel and a long embrace.

Kelly lead him into the bedroom and carefully helped the man settle his weary body on the edge of the mattress. Kelly hastily dressed Matt, worried the poor guy would begin getting cold. 

He silently helped Matt under the covers, unable to help the smile that made his way to his lips as the blue eyes staring up at him tried to fight to stay open

"Sleep." Kelly murmured, brushing a hand across Matt's forehead and down the side of his face.

"You leaving?" Matt asked, not even sure what he wanted Kelly to say.

"Figured my job here is done." Kelly shrugged.

Matt looked at Kelly questioningly, "What is your job exactly?"

"Making sure you were okay..." 

"That's why you came?" Matt knew he shouldn't be surprised; Kelly was a much more caring person than anyone realized.

Kelly chuckled, "What'd you think I came here for?"

"A bang." Matt stated simply, his expression still retaining some of the surprise from moments ago.

Kelly laughed heartily as he sat on the edge of the bed. "Matthew Casey, you underestimate me. My dick isn't my only guiding light, you know."

Matt grinned sleepily, "Then what is?"

"My heart." Kelly's smile turned soft and his eyes lit up as he took in Matt's beautiful smile. "It always takes me to you."

"It does?" Matt looked slightly confused, like he couldn't fathom what Kelly was saying.

"Yeah." Kelly nodded, his hand resting lightly on Matt's chest. "In fact, since it always wants to be with you, I figure you should just hold onto it for me, keep it safe and all that."

"I think I can do that," Matt smiled softly, placing his own hand on top of Kelly's. 

"Perfect. It's yours for as long as you'll have it." Kelly smiled, leaning down and placing his lips against Matt's. A gentle, sweet kiss that made Matt's entire being melt into a puddle.

"Stay with me?" Matt murmured breathlessly against the soft lips that were just barely brushing against his own. 

"If you don't mind putting up with a cuddle." Kelly whispered with a smile.

"Kelly Severide? A cuddler?" Matt looked at the man amusedly. "Learn something new about you everyday." 

"Friends for this many years and you're still learning?" Kelly grinned, "I'm more complicated than I thought."

"Beautifully complex." Matt nodded, "Now get in bed with me." 

"Yes, sir." Kelly excitedly crawled over Matt's form and slipped beneath the blankets. He pulled Matt's body to his own, gladly welcoming the feeling of the warm skin against his own. 

Matt turned around in Kelly's arms so that they were face to face, "Is it too early to nap?" Matt asked, still trying to fight the pull of sleep.

"Course not." Kelly leaned forward to kiss Matt's forehead. "You had a long day, go, sleep."

"Are you going to leave?" Matt asked in his exhausted stupor, not letting his grip on Kelly loosen.

"I'll be right here when you wake up." He smiled, letting Matt snuggle further into his embrace.

 


	24. Eclipse

"I think I just reached a new record," Matt boasted with a grin as he walked over to Kelly.

They were both dressed up and attending a ridiculous and surprisingly uptight event at Molly's that Hermann had forced them to come to. Neither of them had wanted to be there, but since they were in a position that led them to be unable to say no, they decided to make the most of it. What had started as a fun game, was now becoming a competition and neither would give up easily.

"There's no way you're anywhere near my score." Kelly shook his head, looking to Matt expectantly.

"Beg to differ," The blonde chuckled knowingly, "I have 14."

"What?" Kelly exclaimed in disbelief. "There's no way."

"Not my fault I'm irresistibly attractive with a killer personality." Matt shrugged, eyes sparkling.

"To be fair,  those looks can turn a straight man gay." Kelly shook his head with a sigh. "I'm surprised you didn't get more than 14 numbers."

"Relax, Sevy." Matt smirked, "Thought you said this game wouldn't get you riled up this time."

"Can't help but get a bit jealous when they're just crawling over you like that."

Matt laughed softly, his gentle eyes twinkling in the warm light. "How many numbers you have?"

A blush crept up Severide's neck, "1." He muttered under his breath.

"Now that's just embarrassing," Matt clapped Kelly's shoulder. "You're supposed to be the womanizer, not me."

Kelly gave Matt a half-disapproving look, but shrugged, "Well, to be fair, you're the one who suggested that we, two gay – _two VERY gay_ – men, compete to see who can get more phone numbers, so..."

Matt grinned, "And who said it was a fantastic idea and encouraged it? Because I do believe that was you."

"Whatever." Kelly snorted, looking away from Matt's bright eyes, afraid he'd get too lost in them to win the debate.

"So only 1 number," Matt couldn't help but bring that piece of info up again. "You know what this means right?"

"What?" Kelly asked curiously. 

"You have no game." Matt shook his head, feigning devastation, "My husband no longer has any game, this is tragic."

"Don't need it now that I got you," Kelly winked, turning towards the blonde.

"Do you realize how sad this is though? Your whole rep, just _shattered_." Matt tried his best to keep a straight face as he rubbed it in.

"Dick." Kelly laughed, shaking his head.

A while later, Kelly began noticing Matt's pained expression, but since Matt didn't say anything about it, Kelly tried not to worry about it. 

Suddenly Herrmann finish whatever speech he was doing, and Matt groaned as a loud cheer went up through the crowd. Matt stumbled backwards a little, his back hitting the wall, his eyes going wide as they sent a pleading glance to Kelly. 

All smiles faded from Kelly's face as he watched Matt pale considerably. He reached out and grabbed Matt, holding him steady. "You okay?"

Matt tried to utter out a response but no words came to him, so he settled for a weak nod.

"The hell you are." Kelly spoke softly, his grip tightening against Matt's waist.

"Dizzy... Want to go h-home." Matt shut his eyes tightly, trying to close out the world that was spinning around him.

"Put your arm around my neck," Kelly suggested, ready to assist Matt.

Kelly tried not to cause a scene and kept things quiet for Matt's sake. He knew Matt hated being the centre of attention, and felt humiliated enough by all his recent dizziness. 

Matt leaned heavily on Kelly as they made their way to Kelly's car. "You didn't think to mention to me that you were feeling dizzy again?" Kelly murmured as he took the car out of park and drove from his parking spot. "I knew we should have stayed home..."

"Thought it was just a headache." Matt shrugged, his eyes squeezed closed as he tried to repress the nausea he was feeling.

"Baby." Kelly sighed, reaching over to place his hand on the man's thigh. "You've had 5 migraines in two weeks, what in the world made you think that was just a headache?" Kelly had an unimpressed look on his face as he drove, worried beyond belief and concerned that Matt hadn't told him how he was feeling.

"Because I didn't want it to be another migraine... Pull over please." Matt urged, knowing his stomach contents were about to make an appearance.

Kelly knew he needed to stop right away, so he pulled onto the shoulder of the road and waited as Matt hung out the open passenger door and heaved out his supper right then and there. Kelly rubbed Matt's back gently, waiting for him to finish up before helping him sit upright in his seat. Kelly slowly pulled back onto the road and began driving, while Matt exhaustedly wiped his mouth off with his sleeve.

By the time Kelly managed to get Matt inside their home and into the bath, Matt was in the worst of the migraine. Everything was blurry and spinning, the pulsing pain around his head was unbearable, and he felt completely helpless and weak. Once Matt was in the bath, Kelly knew he needed to turn all the lights off and get him some medication quickly, before things got even worse. 

An hour later, the medications seemed to have taken only a slight edge off, but Kelly knew Matt should get out of the quickly cooling bath. Matt felt weak as he stood in the darkness of the bathroom, letting Kelly cover him with a large towel before leading him into their bedroom across the hall. He only stopped to help Matt into some underwear before hastily tucking him into the bed. 

"Want me to stay?" Kelly whispered as softly as he could, knowing full well that his presence would either help or make things ten times worse. Matt tended to have a hypersensitivity to light, sound and touch when a migraine came on, but sometimes he craved the close contact that made him feel safe.

Matt gave a small thumbs up in response, knowing that nodding would make him feel dizzier than ever, and talking would make him feel as though his eardrums were bursting.

Kelly silently crawled into the empty side of the bed, smiling when Matt reached over and grabbed hold of his hand. Kelly stayed by Matt's side, holding his hand for the next five hours, staying awake with Matt as the pain continued. When Matt finally shuffled into Kelly's arms and his breathing relaxed, he knew the worst was over and Matt was on his way to a well deserved rest. 

Kelly waited until he knew for sure that Matt was asleep before letting himself fall into a light sleep as well. 

When morning came, Kelly groggily got out from under the sheets only to close the blinds and tuck the blankets back around Matt, before climbing back into bed. Luckily Matt stayed completely out cold despite the slight noises, and didn't move as Kelly came up behind him cuddle. Kelly left a soft kiss in Matt's hair, wrapping a strong arm around him.

Kelly had planned on going for a run about now, but he couldn't pull himself away from the man next to him. That amazing blonde-haired beauty, migraine attacks and all; his perfect sunshine in a weary world. _His Matt._


	25. Enough

"Kelly?" Matt asked wearily, peeking from behind the door

"Cmon in." Kelly murmured softly, his full concentration on the report in front of him. "I'll be done of this in a minute." He added absentmindedly.

"No worries." Matt nodded, sitting down on the edge of Kelly's bunk. It was late. Well, early technically since it was 2AM. Truck 81 had recently gotten back from a big fire, one that put multiple lives at risk. All of Casey's crew had gone straight to bed, while Matt headed into the showers to clear his head.

He'd gone straight to see Kelly after that, knowing he'd only run so long before he ran out of steam.

"Thought you'd be asleep." Matt mentioned softly, letting himself fall backwards onto the mattress.

"Couldn't..." Kelly mumbled as he closed up the report and stood up. "Not til I knew you were safe."

"Hopeless romantic," Matt smiled endearingly, turning his head to gaze at Kelly's approaching form.

Kelly froze when he laid his eyes on Matt's battered body. He was sporting a black eye, busted lip, a gash across the side of his face, and bruises that spanned from his neck to who knows where. "Matthew?" Kelly asked carefully, as if anything too loud or harsh would break his Matt even more.

"Before you ask what happened," Matt spoke up nonchalantly, "You should know that activities between me and the floor collapse weren't consensual. I mean I love a good bang, but only if it's from you."

"Matthew," Kelly repeated, gingerly sitting down next to the man. "You okay? Why aren't you at med?"

"I'm just fine. It's all superficial." Matt winced as he sat up, "Though I was wondering if you could help dress the burn I have on my side. I'm just so tired." He murmured as he lifted his shirt. The burn was surely a second-degree at the least, and as far as Kelly could see, hadn't been treated at all.

"Matt!" Kelly exclaimed in disbelief.

"Hush, Kelly, you'll wake up the whole damned firehouse."

"Well I have half a mind to wake up your crew and figure out why they didn't get you checked out." Kelly muttered gruffly.

Matt smiled amusedly, "We both know how good I am at hiding pain."

"True." Kelly sighed in defeat. "Lay down, I'll fix you up."

Matt complied, wincing as he arranged himself on the bed in a way that would provide the easiest access to his wounds. Kelly went to his desk, returning with his med kit in hand.

As Kelly applied copious amounts of burn ointment to the singed flesh, he spoke to the blonde. "You need to be more careful, my love."

Matt looked perplexed when Kelly finally looked up at him.

"What is it?" Kelly asked softly, curiously. "I can practically see the gears turning in your head."

"It's just that–" Matt paused, wincing as Kelly touched a sensitive part of the burn. "If I'm more careful, then I can't do my job right. And if I had turned back before the floor collapsed, then I would have been saying that – the man I saved today – his life wasn't as important as mine. I just don't know how I could live with myself, knowing that I didn't do everything I could."

"I understand putting your life on the line is part of the job, Matty. And you have to follow your gut, it's just how we have to do things. But sometimes I just wish you had some sense of self preservation when things get dangerous." Kelly opened up a fresh packet of gauze and placed it over the wound. "I don't mind fixing you up and all, but it seems like it's been happening a lot lately."

"I don't think I really care about getting hurt anymore, and maybe I deserve it. Maybe I haven't saved enough people and this is the world's way of throwing a middle finger at me."

"You've saved so many people, the world isn't out to get you, Matthew." Kelly shook his head slowly.

"Feels like it sometimes." Matt grumbled trying to sit up.

Kelly held him down by placing a hand on the man's chest, "Stay where you are, love." He soothed, pushing Matt's hair back.

"Kelly, am I good enough?" Matt questioned a few minutes later, innocently and certainly unexpectedly.

"Good enough for?" Kelly inquired, finishing up the bandaging of Matt's burn.

"I don't know... For this job.. My crew... _You_..."

"I'm going to stop you there." Kelly frowned sadly, "Don't _ever_ question if you're good enough for me, you've always been perfect for me and you always will be. Not to mention, you're incredible at your job, and this firehouse wouldn't be half as good without you, okay? You _are_ good enough." Kelly spoke firmly, ending his statement with a kiss to Matt's lips.

Matt had tears in his eyes by the time Kelly had stopped speaking. He was tired, emotional, and everything hurt, but he had this man in front of him, this absolutely perfect man, who was telling him everything he needed to hear.   
  


It was a long night, one where Matt tossed and turned in his own bunk, not sleeping a wink. A wall between them, Kelly slept fine, especially since he had imagined Matt had too.

The bags under Matt's eyes might have gone unnoticed by the others at the firehouse, but Kelly knew. He could see the exhaustion built up behind the dim, bloodshot eyes.

Kelly followed Matt into his office minutes later, when he'd left the common room.

"How'd you sleep?" Kelly asked softly, handing Matt a fresh cup of coffee.

"Fine." Matt spoke wearily.

"Matthew." Kelly prompted gently.

Matt sighed as he turned away from the paperwork on his desk. "Sorry." He sighed heavily, "Didn't sleep."

"Why?" It was concern that clouded Kelly's voice.

"Bad dreams. I dunno. Got this burn on me side, you might have seen it." Matt joked sadly.

"I'm taking you to my place after shift." Kelly murmured, squeezing Matt's shoulder gently.

"Sev, I don't need you to—"

Kelly interrupted before Matt could finish. "Matty, I'm taking you with me. I need to redress that burn anyways. Plus, you're not driving anywhere, not when you can't even walk in a straight line."

Matt rubbed his face harshly with both hands, no doubt aggravating his injuries. "I can walk fine."

"Matt, please just let me take care of you."

Matt stared at Kelly long and hard, finally conceding when he seen the determined look on the other man's face. He knew he wasn't going to win this one.

"Fine."

Matt got in Kelly's car without a word, clutching his side and closing his eyes tightly.

"A lot of pain?" Kelly asked worriedly. "Maybe we should stop by Med, just to be safe."

"Kelly, I've had bad burns before, hundreds of them, believe me, I'm fine. Plus, you're already forcing me go to your place, when all I want to do is sleep in my own bed. So stop trying to tell me what to do." Matt snapped, annoyed by the idea of going to the hospital.

"I'm sorry... I just hate seeing you in pain." Kelly whispered, putting all his focus on driving. He hadn't meant to upset Matt, not at all, he'd only been trying to help.

"I know." Matt sighed regretfully, "I didn't mean to get upset."

Kelly nodded, "You're tired and sore, and I'm being overbearing again, I get it. Maybe I should I just drop you off at your place instead? Or bring you back to your truck?"

Matt reached over and put a hand on Kelly's lap, "Your place."

Kelly spared Matt a quick glance, absorbing the apologetic expression on the man's face in a split second. "I just want you to be happy, Matt." Kelly spoke sincerely as he pulled into the driveway.

"I know. And right now, what would make me happy is for you to take me inside, rip off all my clothes, take a hot shower with me, followed by a long cuddle in bed and pointless TV that'll make me forget about that call."

Kelly smiled adoringly, "Your wish is my command, Lieutenant."


	26. Density

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just another one of those subtle pining fics nobody asked for. <3 Enjoy!

"You alright?" Kelly asked with a frown as he watched Matt stumble into their apartment at one in the morning. Kelly definitely _hadn't_ been waiting up to see if his roommate made it home okay, definitely not. It's not like he should care about Matt's recent spurt of self-destructive behaviour. They weren't _that_ close.

"M'fine." Matt slurred as he is fell against the wall, struggling to remove his jacket.

"Sure you are." Kelly sighed and looked back up to the TV, where he was watching a game. If you asked him who was playing or even what sport it was, Kelly would have a hard time answering. He'd only been focused on Matt, though he'd have trouble even admitting that to himself. Where had he gone tonight? Who'd he get into a fight with this time? Why was that sad expression _still_ on his face?

How could he make it better?

"Why're you still up?" Matt flopped down on the couch beside Kelly. He smelled of beer but Kelly could tell he hadn't had more than two drinks. He'd become good at knowing where Matt hit the scales when he was drinking.

"Wanted to catch the game." Kelly spoke softly, eyes trained on the TV.

"This is a rerun from last week." Matt said after a few moments, looking over to Kelly curiously.

"Oh, it–? I _just_ –" Kelly finally looked at what was playing on the TV and he realized that he _had_ seen it before.

"What's going on?" Matt asked. Matt, the one who was going through his own shit and trying to survive his own problems, asked.

"Let's go fishing." Kelly blurted out all of a sudden.

"Fishing?" Matt raised an eyebrow.

"I—" Kelly sighed. He'd been dancing around all the tension for weeks now, trying to figure out Matt, trying not to rock his boat. Maybe it was time to be blunt. "Matt, you're not okay and I don't know why but I want you to know I'm here for you and I want to make sure you're okay and—"

"Shh..." Matt interrupted, "No, I'm fine."

"Stop–" Kelly finally looked over at Matt. "You don't have to pretend around me... Okay?"

"I'm f–"

"I swear if you tell me you're fine one more time," Kelly half laughed, frustration causing him to rub a hand over his face quite roughly.

"But I'm really.. I'm _okay_." Matt smiled but they both knew it was forced.

"Pack your bag, Matt." Kelly spoke softly, "I'll pack mine, well both take a shift off and go for the weekend."

"Go?"

"Fishing, at my Uncle's cabin upstate."

Matt shook his head, "Nah, Kel. Not this week."

Kelly looked down at the floor disappointedly. He felt defeated.

Matt shuffled a bit closer, he sighed quietly. "You really want to know what's been bothering me?"

Kelly looked up hopefully, nodding slowly.

"I'm in love."

"You're in love? But wouldn't that make you happy—"

"I'm in love with you." Matt spoke firmly, smoothly, like he'd been planning this for days. "And it's been hard because I know you're not into guys and definitely not into me, so it's been hard to deal with. But I'm getting there."

"Matt.." Kelly breathed out.

"It's fine, I'm fine, I just need to get over it. You can forget I even said anything. I know its weird, and I know this will probably make things weird between us, but I'm doing my best to make the feelings stop." Matt looked almost sad, "Just give me time."

"No," Kelly shook his head vigorously, a peculiar expression on his face. "No, _don't_."  
Matt's eyes shot up to Kelly's and before he could say anything, the man was leaning toward him. 

Matt met the kiss with surprised, though nonetheless eager, lips. A gasp escaped Matt as Kelly pushed him backwards on the couch and used some amount body weight to hold him down. Though, he knew he didn't have to hold him down, Matt clearly wasn't about to go anywhere. Matt was smoothly returning every swoop of their mouths together, hands wordlessly and quickly tangled in Kelly's hair and hoodie and _anything_ he could grasp.

"Sev." Matt moaned and pushed his hips into Kelly's.

"Oh hell." Kelly melted into the words and felt hot all over. "This is—" He mumbled inbetween the kisses that made every part of his brain shut off. _"You are..."_

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Matt pulled back suddenly, "You sure this isn't some kind of pity thing?"

Kelly laughed softly against Matt's neck, leaning in to leave small kisses against his rapidly beating jugular. "I can assure you that it's not a pity thing."

"How about that weekend away then?" Matt smirked, eyes falling closed as Kelly pulled him into a tight embrace.

"Yeah." Kelly's head nodded against Matt's as he placed their foreheads together.

"We can figure this— _whatever this is_ —out."

Kelly looked up and his eyes couldn't help but trace the outline of Matt's perfect lips, before rising to the man's eyes. "I never thought this would ever happen. I never thought you—"

"Me neither." Matt smiled sheepishly, "It's what we get for being dense idiots who can't talk about feelings."

"We'll work on that." Kelly spoke quietly, he knew he couldn't screw this up. He'd do _everything_ to make sure he didn't.

Matt couldn't help himself as he silently stared at Kelly Severide, watching as he stood from his spot and leaned down to pull Matt up. Matt fell into Kelly's arms and was pleasantly surprised just to be held in them. Tight. Warm. Comforting.

"How long you been into guys?" Matt asked curiously after a few long moments had passed.

"'Since the moment I met you," Kelly grinned as Matt pulled back and gave him the most adorable look. Eyebrow raised, challenging smirk on his face.

Matt shook his head with an amused laugh, yanking Kelly to him by the back of the neck so he could kiss him again. And again. And _again_. 

And if they continued kissing 'til the sun went up, then neither would be too surprised.

 


End file.
